Grace's Mind-it-on-your-own

Yup, Che, i was married in that dream. A really weird dream, plus the fact that we were sleeping side by side, in my parents' room in our current house. Really weird. But i kinda had this nice and warm feeling of having somebody beside me. :) [Although i think the thing that was beside me, by my back, was my other pillow. :)]. Oh well, but i didn't see the guys face. We were just sleeping side by side, cuddling together. :) In the dream, the guy worried about me not being warm enough, so he covered me well with the blanket(since we share the blanket), and when i saw that he was not really covered by the blanket, i told him that he'll get cold, and we got closer to each other. How sweet!!! :) But then, will this happen in the future. I hope, once i get married. :)

It is funny how i set the alarm early, but i wake up one hour or more after the alarm. Yup. I sleep by 3am because i watch tv. But i do try to sleep early lately, by 12 or 1am. Last night, i tried sleeping early, by 1030pm, but just can't sleep so i ended up watching up until midnight. Then, once on my bed, i can't sleep and i just kept on praying, and ended up sleeping by 1am. But anyway, at least i woke up much earlier today, the earliest since April 16: 845am. :)

Anyway, that's it for now. Nothing really being done at the office. I am still sleepy though. Yawn.....

Til next time. :)

Take care guys! :)

April 26, 2003 Saturday

Starting April 21, being not deployed yet to any company for practicum, my parents asked me to help out at our family business’ office. Ever since April 16 to April 20, I always slept late, watching tv and such, as well as watching vcds after vcds of anime, especially during the holy week. And I would wake up late the next morning, by noon or so. So my parents decided by April 19, Saturday, that I go help out at the office, and to go there by 8am in the morning.

From April 21 to today, April 26, I wasn’t even able to go to the office by 8am, well I guess only once, Wednesday morning I think, but other than that, I usually arrive by 9 to 1030am. Today, I woke up by 10am, and just decided to go to the office by 1pm. (Well, my mom didn’t get angry about my being late today. She probably just wanted me to go to the office early in the morning during weekdays.)

I still sleep late in the evenings, usually by midnight or before 3am. And of course, I would have a hard time waking up that morning. I would set my alarm by 645am, but I would just keep hitting the snooze button over and over again. And I end up waking up later than I wanted to. Such a sleepyhead I am!

I usually watch tv every evenings(yes, my mom allows me to watch tv nowadays. I am glad that she didn’t ban me anymore; probably the ban will start again by the start of school); I usually watch movies and such. I usually watch E!, Star Movies Chinese, HBO, Solar, AXN, Hallmark, Studio23, and Disney.

Anyway, enough of tv. I also try to call up friends, but I ended up remembering them(well, some of you have chores, and am just thinking that you are still doing your chores or are trying to relax after eating your dinner, so I give time for you and for me as well) by 1030pm, which is usually too late since almost all of you guys are working for your practicum and would already be sleeping by then or are too tired to talk and would be more happy to rest and relax. :)

At the office, I would be asked to xerox this, fax that, get this, type that, call this and that, ask about this and that, stamp this and that, go with your dad to see this and that client, file this and that, read this and that and then explain it to us, sort this and that, answer the phone, and such. Well, I think this is okay. It is not really that tiring, although I feel tired once I get home, though I can still watch tv. :) It is nice to help out, even just doing the little things; the only thing I don’t like about this is that I usually end up being idle. Sometimes, I would wish that I am in school and be with you guys, my friends, when we are all in school. :) I have been dreaming lately, and it would usually be dreams set in school, with my high school batchmates and Lasallian friends and batchmates. :) Weird, huh?:) I even had this dream that I was already married. Yikes! :0

Anyway, I will blog again soon. :) Nothing that interesting happening yet. :) If I don’t stay at home and watch tv, I go out with my sis to walk around at the mall. (We did go to Glorietta Sunday. Was suppose to go there with Jo Yao the Sunday previous to April 20, but then we weren’t able to push through. Oh well….)…

Anyway, I really miss you all! Hope to really see you guys soon! :)

Keren, thanks. :) Sorry for the delayed entry. :)

Sorry guys. I wasn't able to update much during the Holy Week. Spent most of my time watching vcd after vcd of anime. ;) Still don't have a company for practicum, but anyway, i get to help out with my parents at the office starting tomorrow(due to the fact that i always sleep late and wake up late lately. hehe :) ).

I did go out to Greenbelt 3 today, then we went to Landmark and Glorietta. We walked around a lot today.... Anyway... That's it for now. :) But i did enjoy the week though. There would be times that i would end up thinking about some things and some people, but more or less, these were good memories. :)

Below are the entries i wrote::::

....>April 17, 2003

I had just finished watching “I! My! Me! Strawberry and Eggs”. It may started to be a typical perverted anime but then, I wouldn’t have thought that I would be crying by the end of the 13th episode.

The story thought of being true to yourself, especially to your feelings. It doesn’t mean that if you are a fake at something, that you are a fake as a whole. There are times that we end up faking/lying about things, but then sometimes it is usually because we want to change something so much, that we ended up lying though it may complicate things. The story also gave emphasis on love, that one must not be afraid to love, especially if one did feel the love to be true, pure, and sincere. One must not be afraid of it, and also to fight for it when needed, to take good care of it, as well as to understand. And the memories shared by people because of that love, whatever type of love it may be as long as it is in a sense, good, should be kept deeply in our hearts, treasured with a smile. The song with the anime comes with a part of it like this, “…. We cannot get it back to the way it was when we met….. I can still the smile on your face…. I can still hear your nice voice and melody…. When I remember you, I will not be sad….”. It just dawned on me that I shouldn’t be sad about loving other people, and in a way losing them due to circumstance or because it was my fault, but then knowing that I did love the person whole-heartedly, and sincerely, and the times we have both spent with each other, resulting to all those wonderful memories, shouldn’t make me sad, but rather make me happy because I got to spend those great times with the people I love, when the happiness spent during that time, the feeling of love and all else, is genuine. I shouldn’t regret loving, even if it is not accepted, especially it is genuine, sincere, pure, and whole-heartedly given, unconditionally.

Wouldn’t that be right? But it doesn’t matter anymore what other people think, as long as you don’t end up hurting anyone anymore. It is true that falling in love would mean loving one, hurting another and also opening yourself and the person who is the object of affection at risk of getting hurt. But then, when you love someone, you want to share the good, and even the bad with them, hoping that you could both grow from the experience: spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. For me, as long as I have loved because I really did love the person, I know now that I should be glad, and proud, because I now know that I have the capacity to love a person without condition, that I can love the person as who he/she is, and I love everything the person is, including the good, the bad and the unexpected. I must be proud because I know that I giving something unconditionally, something good, something I knew I can give, and was not afraid to show it, especially since it was true, from the heart. I am glad to have loved. Wasn’t it said by a great poet, Samuel Butler, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”. According to Francis Bacon, “It is impossible to love and be wise.”

Love, can’t live it, can’t live without it. Love, how sweet and bitter it is. Everything is a contradiction to us, especially when it comes to love.

It also stressed how how one feels can affect how other people around you feel, that is why it is better to be happy, and share this feeling of happiness with everyone else, to not be sad about things, but to look forward to a better tomorrow, to survive each day, and continue to live because of love, not only for yourself, but most especially for others.

....>April 16, 2003 Wednesday

This is the life of a bum: doing nothing at all, and trying to think up of things that you can possibly do. For me, I thought of writing, as well as watching anime. But of course, writing would only be writing when there is the feeling that one has a lead on something, that one has the drive to write.

While eating lunch, I suddenly zoned out for a while, while trying to eat fish meat and trying to take away all the fish bones from the meat. It was some sort of meditation I guess, being concentrated on doing that while thinking of a person, some thing, a thought. I was then brought back to reality when Ate Remy, our cook, told me that she was sorry that she wasn’t able to take all the fishbones out of the fishmeat (I was eating bangus, a fish with fine fish bones, and lots of them to start with). Anyway, I didn’t mind; I was used to it.

Ate Remy and I were talking about loving people, and about how we are able to choose our friends. I remember telling her that I am willing to give up my life, if the situation necessitates, for my family, for my best friend, and for people that I really care about(including Joanne Yao); I wouldn’t have second thoughts. It is funny how I love: giving everything for the person that I love, even if I get nothing in return, well except seeing the smile of my love one, and us being both happy. I think that is enough for me. But then Ate Remy said that I am sort of a martyr to just let the person receive things from me, while the other person doesn’t even see much of me at all. To tell you the truth, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, though the subject of love itself will spark up a lot of questions in each of our minds, questions of which we won’t be able to answer or won’t be able to give really good answers about. It is really troubling that we always love, and always make mistakes as well. I have never really fallen in love, or I might have only I didn’t really knew that it was love, or I just thought that the “exhilarating/happy” feeling was love(especially when you are around that special someone and you are both happy for each other, while you are both together). Love can be misinterpreted for another kind of love, as there are a lot of types of love: for family, for friends, for God, for country, for strangers, for the people that we want to love, for that special someone that we want to be with forever, for nature… Sure, there is lots of love; the only thing is, giving the right kind of love to the right person, at the right time, and at the right place, at the right moment, and at the right mood.

But then, with regards to choosing our friends, I think I choose my friends by trying to see if I am comfortable with them. Some I get to be comfortable being with almost instantly, as soon as I get to talk to the person or I just feel that there is this connection with this person because I went over to talk to the person without any hesitation, or through time, like how I got comfortable being with most of my friends. Of course, why would I be friends with somebody with whom I won’t be comfortable with, right? It would be hard for me, as it would be hard for the other person.

I am not picky, but then, we do choose our friends; we choose who want to be with, and we try to see that we choose these people who are almost the same with ourselves, with whom we find similarities, as well as uniqueness that acts as a glue that strengthens the bond as friends remain and grow through time, distance, hardships, and experiences. We then share moments of our lives with them, keeping and treasuring moments which are kept as memories, that are meant to be forgotten, or remembered for the rest of our lives. But then, why is it that we sometimes keep “friends” that doesn’t even see you as you see them. I mean, I may be expecting too much, but then, when there are times that you feel disregarded, as these friends may also feel, why then do we keep each other? In hope that the friendship would grow to another level, or just let time see what may happen to the friendship: grow or just fade away?

This, we cannot answer, because it is unanswerable at the moment. But I would always and am happy to have friends who accepted me as who I am, and of who will accept as who I will become, without fear, but with respect, and especially guidance when I need it the most. I am glad that God gave me friends who are willing to listen to me when I ramble on and on; I thank God that He gave friends who would point out what is wrong, or might be wrong. I thank God for having friends that don’t judge me based on my looks. I thank God for friends who stick by me through thick and thin. I thank God for friends who accept me still as who I am, be I be happy or sad. I thank God, especially, for friends who stuck with me through thick and thin, through the good and the bad, despite time, distance and a lot of other things that have proved to be obstructions or hindrance, but of who still made a point to make me feel that they are there for me, meant it, and did all that they can to help, to give guidance, to give support, to listen, to share life with, and to love me as a whole person. Thank you for all these people, people who I have met from different walks of life, from different parts of the world, during the different times of my life: from my childhood up to adulthood. All have shared a part of themselves with me, as I had also shared mine with them. All have contributed to what growth I went through all my life, and am still growing and never gave up, yet, because these friends stayed on and never gave up on me. Thank you.

It may seem that I always thank people; I don’t want to miss the chance of thanking them. It may seem that I might be saying goodbye or something. Maybe, maybe not. But one this is for sure: I am appreciate all that you did for me guys. I love you all!

Oh well, this is pretty long. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Ramble, ramble, ramble……

Please check this out.

I got this article about making a Unified System, a world government. It is a nice thought, but i guess it would be hard to implement, but then, think of the rewards, as well the possible things that people have to work on real hard.

Keren! I passed all my other 5 subjects! :) Yes!!! Thank God!!! He answered my prayers. :) And i get to keep my laptop! :)

So far, my day was okay. I did become eventually physically tired because i had to wait for my brother up until 330pm, as i was waiting for news whether i and 42 others would be able to take up the summer offering of the IT-RESM or Thesis Proposal subject. But Mr. Oliver Malabanan, who talked with us and was talking with the other professors for us, regretfully told us that the college won't be able to offer IT-RESM this summer. So we will all be delayed by a term. Oh well, what can we do for now, but to focus on other subjects. :)

At the start of the day, i did feel kinda sad or disappointed over one person, but then i don't want to expound on it anymore. What's the use of all the work i have done on myself to be more positive, the strive to change my thinking from being too pessimistic and a constant worrier, to something or someone who tries to be more productive(to use the negative feelings to drive oneself to be better). Anyway, i just exerted my feelings on focusing on other things, like worrying and praying that i pass the other subjects instead, and to think that the person i am worrying about just wanted time out with oneself and one's friends. And of course, she might have her own "thoughts", so i must leave my friend to that, and spend the day as my friend sees it fit. So far, so good, though i am still worrying a little, but at least not like the way i did in the past, though i still ramble on and on. Drew, thank you for always listening. :)

Anyway, from 2pm plus, i was more or less by myself. By 330pm, i met my brother by the south gate and we rode the LRT(we commuted together for the first time). AFter getting down at 5th Ave, we rode a jeep towards Quezon Avenue, then got of at Frisco, then rode a jeep for Munoz. We then stopped somewhere near our place. I was really tired when i got home. I slept for half an hour, from 6-630pm. then ate dinner. i was planning to sleep right away, but then Ate Remy, our cook told me not, or i will end up like Rico Yan and die in my sleep. Anyway, i didn't get to sleep anymore. I just spent my time to do other things, like changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, charged my celphone's battery, opened my laptop, and then from 9pm to 1050pm, talked with Drew. :)

Drew is the second person who told me that he is soothed by my presence or rather when he talks to me. The first person who told me that was a friend of mine from Canada, a teacher of mine who eventually became a close friend of mine. Her name is Christie Breakingbury. She told me this while we were together, sort of on a going away get-together for the two of us since i was going back to the philippines. :) She said she feels relaxed when i am around. :) I am glad that i make people feel relaxed, and in a way happy, because at least i know and feel, through their saying this, that i am able to give/share something positive to others. Right? :) It feels nice to be able to help others, one way or another. :)

Well, that is it for now. Will blog again soon! :)

Wooohhh..... Today is my mom's birthday, and a lot of food was brought to our house. During lunch, there were these two cakes, and my sister gave very big servings which i had to ate. I felt like barfing because i was really too full, and the cakes were so sweet... Wooh......

And then, just this night, a while ago, we went to eat dinner with another family, friends of ours for year, at Congo Grill at Sct. Albano and Sgt. Esguerra. When we all got out, we were all so full. I really feel so full. My tummy hurts..... Must not eat anymore during the Holy Week. Wooohh... It feels as if my tummy is my center of gravity, and that i can't balance myself. hehe :) Ouch, my tummy still hurts. It is somewhat hard to breath, but that's what i get for eating, and eating, and sitting beside my sister who likes to serve the food to others at the table. (i gained weight already, 2 pounds to be exact.... Grrr.... Must go to the gym more often....). Didn't go to the gym yesterday because i had to finish a translation for Tzu Chi Da Ai TV.

Right now, am updating my Internet Explorer. It said in my Windows Update installation log that the previous download(dated Oct. 11, 2002) wasn't successful. I have to reinsall them again, just to be sure. Also updated my Windows Media Player from version 7 to version 9.

(I really hope i pass all my subjects, coz what is the use of updating Windows when my laptop will be confiscated and not be used by me, and would just be kept somewhere in my mom's room....) Gotta go... :)

(hope to hear from you guys....)

("-")

Well, Che, yes, memories do stay in our hearts. :) But then wouldn't it be nice to walk into a place that reminds you of all the people you have met, the things that have happened, the times you shared? :) Wouldn't it be nice to have something tangible to go back to, and be nostalgic even just for a moment? :)

Keren, thanks. :) Wow... only three more days, and it will be course card day..... Brrrr.....

The C2T4 batch assembly will be having a meeting this monday. Ren called up, and told me about this, and that i was in the Publicity committee. I hope that i can be of service there. I guess i will be seeing people there, well, those people who aren't with a company yet for the OJT i guess, like me. :0

Oh, just had my braces tightened this afternoon. Luckily, i wasn't late anymore. For the past appointments, i had always been late. Whew. :)

So far, i feel good about myself, though there are times that i feel that i am afraid of losing something: people, objects, memories and a lot of other things. I feel so afraid, and at times jealous. There would also be times that i wished i am living the life of another person, but then i would tell myself, if i were living that person's life, then i would be wishing that i would be living another person's life, and then it would never end; this envy, of wishing for something we don't have but then when we get what we want, we would want to lose it because of the disadvantages that comes with it..... Everything has it good and bad side. I must always remind myself that. I would always pray to God that He help me appreciate what i have, to be not jealous, to be content with what i have and with what is given to me(either it be a job or some thing), and do the best that i can to do all my responsibities, and to excel in things that i can be better in. :)

Tomorrow's my mom's birthday, and i haven't got anything for her.... Well, i just hope Jo Yao and I get to buy the CDs that my mom likes from Ongpin this coming Tuesday and give it as a belated birthday gift. :) [my mom already gave money to pay for the cds to be bought, but i guess what i will do is return her money to her and use my money instead. at least i know that she wants those cds. :)]....

Oh well.... Happy, happy, happy. (c",)

Oh, just in case my bestfriend drops by to read my blog, here's a message for you::::::
"Hi Daph! :) Don't forget to sign my guestbook. Hehe :) I already emailed you two messages.:) I will be waiting for your reply. :)"

Til the next blog! :)

("-")

For Ms. Joanne Yao

eto na yung flash5 na pdfs that i told you about. :) Just text me or call me at home if you have any problem accessing it. :)

actionscript
usingFlash5
Flash 4 review

Ay! go to this site sa net, kakakita ko lang eh::::

Flash MX tutorials na pdf..... :)

of course, there is the ever helpful google, pero yung flash mx tutorials, by clicking the link above for flash mx, you can download that(parang nagtutorial rin nga lang naman, pero in a readable format). the others na nakita ko usually online tutorials. :) ngek, nawalang kwenta yung flash5 na inupload ko. pero tingnan mo na rin muna. :)

text me, inform me pag nakuha mo na ang kailangan mo or if there is any problems. :)

Update::::
Some sort of "short circuit" something happened here during lunch time, nearing 1pm. People were gathering near the area near the ISR and the stairs. Then we saw some smoke. I thought it was just a little something. But then after that, when I was on my way to the ladies c.r. to brush my teeth, some guards and a D.O.(i think) were hurrying up to get the fire hose. That was when i heard that somewhere at the second floor, probably near g201, that there was a short circuit. I guess they were rushing to control that small problem before it becomes much worst. At least they were alert. i wonder why the students didn't do anything, and just sort of stared, and even oohed and ahhed when they should have reported it as soon as possible. I am even ashamed of myself for not doing anything and just getting on with my life.

Alvin Malleta said that the fire should have raged, so that there would be no Gokongwei Bldg for a while and all of us will be accomodated into Yuchengco building for our classes. For me, i don't want this to happen because Gokongwei bldg. did house many memories not just of me, but also of other computer science students of DLSU.

Oh well, Alvin and I just finished our revision our paper by 3pm. Hope that we would pass Infosy2, as well as all the other subjects. We kept on seeing Sir Altura and we kept on worrying on our INTCALB finals, and if we would pass INTCALB. I just hope we would. I hope and pray that everyone pass their subjects. I really hope and pray. I am still at school right now, just waiting for Alvin to finsh printing the INFOSY2 Project Paper so that we could submit it to our professor before 5pm. Oh well, by the time i get home, i will need to catch up on my studies for tomorrow's finals on Japala1.

i really wanna pass every subject!!! I hope i pass every subject!!! I pray that i pass every subject!!! Oh, God, please let me pass all my subjects!!!

("-")

here is my guestbook entry to Che's blog. Well, i was just going to give a short reply, but i ended sort of "blogging". Here it is::::

"kaw ah. :) okay lang, magpakabait ka muna. :) am at school today, with Alvin. :) Naku, habol pa kami sa paper, yung revisions namin... Hay, tapos tomorrow test namin sa Japala. Sana sa friday payagan si Jo (Yao) na labas kami. bibili kasi kami nung pinabibili ng mom ko na Korean CDs as well as nagpatulong ako kay Jo na maghanap kami ng gift for my mom's bday this coming sunday, sa 13.

Hay... Sana pasada ako sa intcalb(sana maka-uno lang naman.... sana ibigay nya 5 points just to get the program compiled and then there were those items na nagagawa ng "program" ko.... sana sana sana), sana pasado ako sa introca(i think okay naman test, mukhang marunong naman ako except for some parts, pero more or less i think marunong naman ako), sana pasado ako sa infosy(kasi, etong project paper namin, revisions pa daw, e di pa nave-verify nung contact namin na company... tapos today pa due, 5pm... grrr...), sana pasado ako sa japala(matataas naman ako sa mga quizzes, pero syempre, gusto ko mataas na talaga diba, since i excel in the subject diba? :)). Pasado ako sa intrope(naka-3 ako! yippee! :) bait kasi ni sir Christopher Cruz! :))! bagsak ako sa resm(you guys know this already. ;9 ) I just hope i pass all my other 5 subjects. yun lang, at masaya na summer ko kahit na bagsak ako resm, at may ojt, at may deadline pa ako sa translation. :0

halatang-halata na masayang-masaya ka dyan sa eacomm. :) okay lang yan. kwento ka sa life nyo dyan. kasi kami, wala pa kaming office life eh. :) i don't even know if i have a future, but i hope that i would, and in something that i love to do, and would be willing to improve on to do...(did that statement make sense?)

[parang ginawa ko ng blog itong guestbook mo ah. :) dito na ako nag-update. hehe :) dibale, i will post this din sa blog ko. :) para mabasa ng lahat. :)] take care. :) i'll keep checking, and i'll keep blogging. :) luv ya all! :)"

----------------------------------

Not much to update lately. Will do blog once something "interesting" (as if anything interesting happened in my life for the past 20 years!!! well, of course, there are some exceptions. hehe :) ), or something new happens to me, or if i ended up going through one of those "reflections" and meditation on some life experiences. :)

("-")

Just came from an OJT interview a while ago. I thought we were going to be late. We left Goks by 930am. I am glad that we reached Teligent a few minutes before 10am. The office is small, but anyway, if we get accepted, what's important is that we learn something. :) The interview was not really that strict and formal. I was kinda relaxed during the interview; i even got to smile. ;) The interviewer, Joan, was nice, said that a real interview is really strict and formal but then since we are a group, one way to make the interview was to make it somewhat informal. She asked us, more or less, about some personal stuff, like where you live, parents, siblings, questions to see how close we were to each other, how we react to each other as a group, what were our expectations before the interview about the interview. Those stuff, but more or less, it went well, i think. :)

Got to school early, as usual. And i was not carrying the usual bag that i bring to school; i was using a shoulder bag(did i classify it right? I dunno, but i think it is a shoulder bag...) I mean, i can't use the bag that i always bring to school because i was wearing business attire, so i went to use this shoulder bag.

(the following paragraphs are continuation of the above written entry for april 4; i am continuing the entry today, april 5.)::::

Anyway, spent the whole day in school, again. :) Was also interviewed by Jomar, Eya and Pam for the Batch Assembly. Hope that i get to do what job will be given to me. :) But more or less, i had a positive week, despite some worries. Thank God.

Sorry if i didn't get to finish this entry the other day; i was just using another person's computer at school while i was not doing anything. Anyway, gotta go.

i didn't get to join you guys to the movie today. Sorry about that...

("-")

Keren, thanks for the guestbook entry! :)

Sorry about what is written below, but i would just like to let you know how stupid i have become!::::: :0

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Just erase or put a comment into the code and I should have at least made something out of the finals for INTCALB, at least a few points. But since I didn’t put it as a comment, for fear that I might not be allowed to submit my work, I didn’t do anything anymore and just submitted it as it is, which is not working at all! :0

The test is for thirty points, so if you get at least 1 point, you get 1 point added to you grade. For example, your average is 69 for the 70% worth of exercises and projects, that add the number of points you got from the finals, example: 5 points, then your 69 would be 74. And of course you would pass the course. I have just erased all my hope for surely passing INTCALB. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that I did get good grades for the projects as well as the other exercises, but would that be enough to get a passing grade? I don’t know, and I really don’t know. I don’t know how Sir Altura will be grading it. And Vina said that I should at least have saved the other working file, at least I would have clear screen and asking for input and such. But now, since she said that Sir Altura won’t be chacking the code, I would be getting zero! Zero for the finals! Grrr….. Tanga-tanga mo talaga Grace! A simple thing as that, but then Vina said that I would still pass. And I really hope so. I know I should be thinking about this during the test and after the test that Monday, but then why am I only having the jitters, and the fear of failing, now, right now, since this morning? Grrr…….. I can’t stand it anymore, I need to talk with Drew……… Grr……… I mean the others thought of at least showing the interface. I don’t even have the interface at all, and the interface itself would have merited points already….. Nataranta na kasi ako eh…. Grrr……. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At school already by 7am. Like yesterday, most of the tables are taken, and I am sitting way back or in the Gokongwei lobby. And still wondering if I would pass INTCALB. I just hope I do, that I really do, kahit na 1.0 lang.

But think i will fail. i mean, even if i perfect the exercises, meriting 35 points of my grade, i only got 30.625 for my projects. 35+30.625 would only be 65.625. What a grade. If i would be given 5 points for some effort, then i would pass. but if not, what now? GRACE! YOU'RE SO STUPID! I am really afraid of it now because of the imminent failure i will be getting! and i am getting all afraid! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

920am:::: After seeing Sir Altura:::::
By 920am something, I went up to see Sir Altura, asked if I could talk with him. He said that I have to wait for 10 mins.. And I did wait, even when it took longer than 10 minutes. I was the one who needed to talk with him, so it is okay for me to wait.

He did come out a while later, about 945am, I think. I told him about my final project not working when I added something, but then since I must submit the finals project to him, then I submitted it even when it is not working. He said that his grading was specific, as specified in the paper, and I said yes, but then I said that I know that if I made the two lines that I added as comments, that the project would run. He asked me which two lines, and I said that it was those with cmp and the next line. He then told me that I submit a paper, with my signature and indicate where those semicolons(to make those lines become comments) to be put, and he will run my program. I am glad that he allowed me to do so. Because if I won’t be able to output anything on the screen, then I wouldn’t have any grade, as in nothing; his answer to me, allowing me to make changes, made a difference to a very jitty and tense me, to a more happy and glad me because I knew that it was running if I removed those two lines.

At least now, i would at least merit some of those 30points.

("-")