Grace's Mind-it-on-your-own

Oh, here is a pic of me and my high school batchmates last June 20, 2003. :)

the one wearing the orange shirt is my best friend, Daphne. :)

seated from left to right: mitzi, Daphne, grace, Nicole, miriam
and the only guy is Benjamin (my high school crush. hehe :))

it may take a while to load. :) i didn't resize it anymore, so that you could see their faces in detail. :)

oh, and something happened to the middle of the pic. might be caused by the ftp ascii uploading. :-0 but anyway, it is still us. :)

go to Our Pic

July 27, 2003 Sunday

-woke up by 949am. heard about the coup de etat already.
-more or less watched tv... ate lunch...
-watched Sleepless in Seattle.
-went out to buy halo-halo and stopped by Rockwell to get something my sister left there last night from Kulinarya. When we were at Rockwell by 3pm, almost all stores were already closed. Rockwell was closing by 5pm today for the day. we saw tanks when we were going to rockwell. on the way back, i thought on how i hope my best friend is home already at Corinthians when we passed by the edsa shrine. we then went to sm edsa to buy halo-halo at cool king. boy! there were a lot of people there, compared to rockwell which is almost empty.
-once home, eat, watch tv, eat, watch tv, sleep, online....
-heard that no classes at DLSU? :0

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July 26, 2003 Saturday
-automatically woke up by 8am. took a bath. went to bring over a ethnic drum we had at home to my high school friend's house so that we wouldn't have a hard time trying to meet on tuesday. and i am not doing anyway since i cannot go to Marie France for treatments and Ate Irene and I cancelled the pt session for today last night. drove to my friends place and back home. i really need more practice in driving.
-after lunch, my sis and i cleaned our bathroom.
-watched tv.
-ate dinner.
-typed down the minutes of yesterdays meeting. planned the contents for the list and the evaluation form that i will finish tomorrow.
-called Jo by 845pm. and talked until 930pm something.
-typed journal entries down. :) miss my friends a lot, all of you around the world. :0
-did worry about my bestfriend. texted her and she replied that they are 30 minutes away from tagaytay. :0
-watched tv and waited until my sis came home. slept by 249am.

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July 25, 2003.
-last night, dreamt of Jubilee with ghosts. but i also had this dream: dream was sort of in Jubilee and saw Daph there, attempting to do a feat(something like those done in ripleys believe it or not, but i had to go so i went over to say that i had to go home. i gave her a hug(she hugged back), patted her back, and kissed her head(on her hair). but then it didn't stop there. i heard her mom was sick or to be doing something wrong to her body. I am not really sure now, but i did remember that in the dream i did go back to see Daph and she is now almost done with her feat but was really having a hard time. i gave her a hug and stayed by her side to support her body, and told her something's wrong with her mom. she asked what it was, as i am still hugging her since i saw her having a hard time and needed support. I whispered to her ear and when she heard she was surprised, shocked, and we hugged each other all the more. and i woke up. it was 630am, and i can't go back to sleep when i can still can up to 7am. :0
-went to office with Diku.
-while in the MRT, did have a scary feeling when i thought about Daph, that was why i texted her at once when i got to the office.
-was late, 945am. But then Bic, Farids and Ruz were much late that i was. :0
-didn't get to do much. ended up writing something. see below.:)
-they left by 2pm. pretty early right?
-was asked to attend meeting with Sir Ogie, and take down the minutes of the meeting. Was asked to make a list and evaluation form as well, and that i inform my groupmates about meeting with Sir ogie about new project for us. email the minutes by monday, July 28, 2003.
-left by 5pm. took mrt ride home with liz. once at MRT north avenue, sister picked me up and we went to get my mom's eyeglasses, the new ones. once home, more or less didn't move a lot since i didn't feel good (it's the time of the month...)
-went to sleep after watching Lizzie Maguire.

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Did you ever wonder why when you look at the world, and when you remember things, people, places, we see those around us as we "watch"? YOu know, you can always imagine yourself also in them, but the thing is you can remember their actions and faces but not really yours. IT is sort of like you are the one filming or videotaping the event. YOu can remember what you're doing but not see how you really did it because you can't "videotape" yourself, much like how others can't videotape themselves while they're doing the videotaping.

I ended up thinking about this when i was sort of in position, ready to sleep in the office. And then i remembered, in my head, things that happened in the past. And then i thought of how i would imagine myself in different situations(daydreaming?) and going back to reality, zapping myself back from what i was thinking. I really don't know why i came to thinking of this. I always did do so but usually didn't have the time or was unusually lazy to write. But come to think of it, we always observe those around us, and try our best to keep track of our reactions and actions to those things that are happening to those that we are observing. Adn most of us don't stop observing, although most of the time we don't see a lot of the world as a whole because we get fixated to certain things, people, places or memories. I know, because it happens to me most of the time.

Bur right now, i miss my best friend. And both of us can't wait to see each other again. Our last meeting was a day before her birthday this year, June 28, 2003, at her home. OH, and July 23, she went over to La Salle to meet with the DLSU Alumni Association and the Student council for a joint fundraising activity of which i don't know a thing about, but she did tell me that she can't wait fr our next bonding session; i told her that we must definitely plan another meeting, spending a day with each other(while its still my OJT and 2nd term not starting yet. OF course, we have to meet on my birthday, if i get to finalize the plans and all goes well. :)). OH, i can't wait to see her too, and to spend time with her.:) Especially much the more since i know the "feeling" is definitely mutual. :)
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Hope you guys can get to meet her, my bestfriend Daphne, soon. :)

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July 24, 2003 Thursday
-was happy on the way to school - thinking about Daph, and time together. :)
-830am pictorial started at 9am. (details on the make-up and hair as well as the pictorial to be added later.)
-late for work. bic and farids already here wen i arrived. Ruz came some time after i did.
-continued to do what was asked of me to do.
-met with Jo for lunch, with mich and ate sarah. ate and ate. nahalata ang maayos na buhok and the eyebrows being "shaved" to have contour. they asked about pictorial.
-went back to work. when i walked them down to the ayala entrance/exit, i asked why Jo didn't call. she said she didn't get my reply when i answered back her text on my home phone numbers. anyway, i told her my number, saying it in fookien. and then went back up. and then i remembered that when i emailed Sarah rivera's name, id number and spec to cristalle acosta, i had read that she was to give/submit it yesterday. so i called jo and told her about this, though i still did email but that she ask sarah to at least check it out na lang sa school.
-typed this down....
-back to work.
-worked on the typing of the trouble ticket details for different countries. double checked it before preparing it to be put into Sir Ogie's table. done by 4pm. they left by 4pm as well. left the office by 5pm.
-went home with liz.
-when my sis picked me up from station, we went to greenhills to have my mom's eyeglasses fixed. back at home, just stayed in my room, and talked with jo why cleaning my face (had allergy from the make up). :) slept early, i think.

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July 23, 2003 Wednesday
-dreamt i was sort of on a mission or something, double agent stuff (i watched ALIAS last night, it figures!). anyway, woke up by 730am. was really glad Daph texted last night, and sayang talaga coz i can't meet her at school today; it has always been like that before -- if she comes over to la salle, we don't get to meet. :) but anyway, i told her last night in one of my text, twice, that we will definitely plan another meeting, another day to spend with each other. :)
-arrived at the office by 915am. well, the net is being used by Sir Alvin's computer, i think, so i can't do much, and i can't go on with my project as well, so i will just let it be and just typed this entry down. :) groupmates haven't arrived by this time yet, so i was suddenly asked by Sir Ogie to do some typing down some trouble ticket reports for him. He discussed it for the whole morning, up until 12nn. well, i don't think he really needs to get down to details to ask me to do what i am suppose to do(sorting the records), but then, at least he discussed it so i get to learn something new about the company we are taking our OJT in.
-ate lunch with Jo, Kat, Liz, Nats, Dianne, and TJ. walked with Jo back to the building since she didn't have any pocket and she brought her dad's cell phone with her.
-back at office, started to work on what Kuya Ogie told me to do. Bic and Farids were asked to present the revised TTR. I didn't help out anymore since i was asked to do soemething. sort of pinagtulungan sila, joking but trying to say something. i don't really know. I just kept quiet and continued to do what was asked of me since this morning. I don't want to sound bad, but i felt "glad" that at least the staff see that i come early and they don't, that i leave much later than they do.
-went home with Liz still by 5pm even if my dad was in the makati area. Of course, chattery on the way home. Once home, at dinner, watched some tv. and then did type down what Ogie asked me to do, though i didn't finish it since i was tired. I relaxed a little, listened to mp3s and remembered memories, and then went to sleep. Jo said she was suppose to call but then she didn't. when i did call her at home, she was already asleep. Oh well.

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July 22, 2003 Tuesday
-was late for work, arrived by 940am. traffic on the way to makati from La salle.
-once at the office, checked mail, and tried to work on project. but then i really needed the ftp connection authorization of Kuya Sannel so that i can try my program out. I asked Kuya Alvin, and he told me that we would have to wait for Kuya Sannel. since he is still not here, even by 1136am, i just made some checking and changes to my program, like changing the names of the objects and then testing the automatic mode, after it hasn't sent anything during saturday and sunday, and resuming on tuesday, with it's last send date on July 18, sending the July 17 log; the program must start sending July 18 file log. At first it didn't work right, and then i checked the code and found my logic error. Made change and it worked. :) instead of subtracting 1 , i made it subtract the number of days by the number of days difference between today and last day sent (using DateSerial(year, month, day)). I know i don't know if i am still making any sense, but anyway, on with the journal.
-Bic and Ruz came to work as their usual time of 1030am or so. Farids didn't come to work at all today. Anyway, they went down and went to Glorietta to buy something. I was asked by Ate Ana to do some scanning, since i am not really doing much, and then Ate Thess asked me to do some punching of papers for them to put into those 3 ring binders. While doing so, i ate lunch. After that, i stayed by the computer again, doing not much, since when Kuya sannel arrived by 12nn, he seemed so tense and seem that needed to get soemthing done right away. When i left the office for the washroom and when i got back, Bic and Ruz were already back and were using the net. I just let them be and went to my side of the room. anyway, they kept on surfing the net. from 1-2pm, i didn't do anything. i was waiting for Globe's 223 to work because since morning up until 1:53pm, i can't reload, and i only have more or less 20 pesos left. :0 Anyway, i was so tired, i fell asleep for an hour. anyway, after that hour, i didn't do anything anymore but write down my best friend's chinese name: li rei yi. Well, i was glad that Liz texted me that they were allowed to leave by 3pm, because of the strong wind and rain. I asked for permission to go home early and went home ahead. Bic and Ruz stayed behind. Oh, i haven't told them yet that i am moving out of the group. Malcolm didn't reply to my text this morning yet.
-Anyway, as usual, Liz and i chatted on the way home. Once at North Avenue station, my sister picked me up, we stopped over to buy burgers at Tropical Hut and we even got into a small but soemwhat big argument. anyway, once home, found out there was a brownout. anyway, ate dinner early, and waited for the lights to come back on until about 7pm i guess. And then i waited until 8pm to call Malcolm at his home phone number.
=here is what i wrote down: called him na. sure na(thesismates kami). we are thesis mates. na magkita na alng next term. na kailangan nila 2. na kailangan namin ng isa pa. that i don't text him dahil sira phone niya. he asked me kung sure na ako hiwalay from Bic. I said dba nga nung June 25, 2003, na Bic said that if things don't work out then better disband. And i think it doesn't work out for me anymore. Now, yes, but not for long. more or less nagulat nga sya when i called, he asked where i got his number and told him from the IT directory, written on the CD given out last year or last term. :) anyway, i told him that my parents told me to at least call him up kahit na we have already agreed through text na thesismates na, my parents told me to call him up pa rin, that to make sure, kasi once i tell Marivic and the others that lilipat na ako, i can't go back to them if soemthing goes wrong, diba. He said he already told Masayuki fujimoto that i will be joining them; Masayuki said that si Malcolm na lang daw bahala, and so okay na na i am with them na. sabi nya that we see each other na lang next term. ayun that they still needed 2 nun. and i added tat we still needed 1 more and he said yes. he asked if i am sure that i am going to leave Bic's group and as i told him nga, dahil din namin sa sinabi nila nung June 25(i definitely remembered saying this to him, and i have mentioned this date in the paragraph twice.) na if things don't work out, better disband. told him that i will tell bic tomorrow. ayun, so before we said goodbyes, i said, "so sure na ah, thesis mates na ah" and he said yes. and then we said goodbye. we hung up the phone.
-anyway, after the call, i told my mom that i already called malcolm, and what we talked about, as mentioned in the paragraph or bullet above. My mom said that i say nothing to marivic about this yet, not until i am sure daw na enrolled na kami nila Malcolm sa it-resm next term. although i know that mag-eenrol naman talaga si malcolm, it is not bad to take precautions still. i felt afraid of the thought of certainty na nga, but still feeling uncertain, as i do now, but then i prayed. my mom just wanted to make sure that i have a fall back if anyting happens, and anyway, better for the OJT to finish daw before i tell them kasi baka mamaya daw, ipabagsak daw ako. ;0 i don't know, but then, i think nga it would be better to let the OJT finish bago ko sabihin.
-after that, i was going to sleep, but then elbert bugged us for a while. i did text daph, and i thought she wouldn't reply anymore, but i was surprised when she did reply. :) she had just downloaded ChikkaText. :) anyway, she told me that she can't wait for our next bonding session, and that she would be coming over to Dlsu tomorrow to meet with the DLSU alumni association and the student council for a joint fundraising activity by both La salle and Ateneo. That is big work, right? :) Of course, my best friend is a hardworking person, and responsible too. she told me sayang, kasi wala ako sa school coz of my OJT. Anyway, i was really happy when i fell asleep.
-was dreaming, but then in the dream, i was happy but then i felt it was so silent and felt that anohter power outage just came. i woke up, and there was a power outage. i had to turn the aircon off, and then open the doors, coz i feel that there was so little oxygen and that i can't breath. i also had to shift positions so that i can relax a little. Anyway, a little while later, felt that the power was back on since my dad went ahead to turn on the aircon and didn't bother to tell me so when i felt it was so cold. :0 And back to dreamland.

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July 21, 2003

-arrived at work by 920am. groupmates arrived by 1040am, and 11am(Ruz)
-worked on FTP project up until 1145am.
-went down to meet Jo and Mich at FoodPark. they miscalled me since Jo wanted to borrow my Flash disk again.
-back up by 1230pm.
-been not doing much, as of now 236pm. did ask Jo about mving to Malcolm's group during lunch time and she asked Mich and seems that he's the only one working in his old group, more or less mukhang okay kagroup si malcolm. i texted Malcolm about this and he replied back by 1250pm, and after that, na sure, na sali na daw ako sa kanila. Now, i am thinking when i should tell Bic, Ruz and Farids. Thought that i should tell them now, but i called Jo and she said that probably by tomorrow ko na lang daw sabihin.

reply ni malcom to my message (about asking him kung okay lang ba na lipat ako sa kanila sa grouping sa thesis, though i didn't really specify about this and nung nagrep siya the first time around, akala ko he was saying/answering about itpract, so i replied again that i am not that good at vb but that i had been using vb lately. and that i also added to the text message that my decision on moving to their group is referred to the it-resm, itthes1 and itthes2 part(not on ITPract), and that i wanted to "kalas" from Bic's group na kasi eh.):::
"Oh, i c, cge, sali ka na... may kilala ka bang magaling mag vb or may alam sa cobol? kelangan pa namin isa eh.."
-groupmates left by 302pm. did ask me to go with them, but i told them that i will be going home with Liz, and i had to wait for her, that's the truth naman eh. :)
-did also text Malcolm about seeing him soon/next term as thesismates, and that i will be telling Bic and the others that i will be moving to his group, and i said that i wouldn't mention his name but just that i am moving to another group. And that i will text him if i have already told Bic, Ruz and FArids. And then he replied, of which is as follows in the next bullet. i guess he didn't reply to all anymore, and jsut put the answer in the one he sent as seen in the next bullet. :)
-3pm. Malcolm replied back that yes, he will inform me of any requirements, and then he added that there are no requirements, that they need a good thesismate, not a name.:)
here is the actual text message (i sort of texted him to tell me if there is any requirements and in what section of itresm will they be in next term, that they text me):
"Uhm, cge.. wala namang requirements eh... we nid a good thesismate, not a name.. :)"
-went home early with Liz by 430pm. we talked about me and Malcolm being thesis mates and such, my switching to his group.
-went to Hi-top with ma and pa and told them about me moving to Malcolm's group. they both told me to call him up and check up with him, at least sure, kahit na makulit. kasi once na sinabi ko na kina bic, wala ng balikan. i should check both sides daw, baka mamaya, pag nasabi ko na kay bic, wala rin pala akong kagroup with Malcolm. diba, so back to square one ako. :0
-tried calling him up 8-830pm, but cannot be reached daw.
-called carlo, asked about hub to buy, and then he told me about the email incident that he didn't send but his aunt thought he sent. we plan to buy the hub together, i asked him to accompany me, on august 2, if everything pushes through.
-laptop was still defragmenting since July 20, but as of July 21 night, it still wasnt finished. my brother and i moved the computer back to the guestroom, where my brother usually sleeps. (he had to move to the other room because we had the japanese guest stay over during the weekend.) I also moved my laptop to his room.
-we went online, and saw carlo online to. and of course, i asked carlo questions, and he told me to try defragmenting when my laptop is in safe mode. we did, and the defragmenting was going much smoother. :) we then talked about error messages, hubs and joking to each other. But then i had to go to sleep already. offline and went to bed. left the laptop to continue on with teh defragmenting.

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July 20, 2003 Sunday

Well, i really did want to go take our Japanese visitor to the airport with my mom and dad but since i slept late, and woke up late, i can't. Anyway, i hope that i can get my eyeglasses later from an optical shop at greenhills. :) ANd i think i might be asked to help out correcting some more non-working parts in the webpage of my brother and in documenting it as well.

1140am. ordered lunch from Alex III, because ate remy took a day off.
1pm. washed dishes and boiled water for drinking up until 145pm.
230pm. left to get eyeglass at Greenhills. Before 230pm, working on elbert frontpage project docu while checking email.
Back at home by about 4pm something. Continued working on Elbert project. watch Tv, cadet kelly tec... ate dinner, work, watched Children Of Dune.. slept by 11pm something, after elbert stopped bugging us.
230pm, started defragmenting my laptop's hard disk again.

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July 19, 2003

Went back to the store, and they tested it on their computer and it worked. But since it doesn¡¦t work on mine, and it always keeps on making an error, terminating the program as it is shown with a blue screen. But anyway, they gave me my refund of 2500. though I got my money back, I felt guilty for ¡§shouting¡¨ at them. But come to think of it, I think it would be much more worth it to buy a hub now than a flash disk. :)

I found out that night that we had new scanner, connecting to the computer using USB. I tried installing it on my laptop, following all instructions. After installation, I plugged it into my laptop¡¦s usb port, and it worked. :) Now, it makes me wonder why a small USB flash disk wouldn¡¦t work and a big device connected through USB worked.

July 19, 2003 Saturday

Was supposed to go to PT but then last night, Irene had to back out last minute. Anyway, i woke up by 9am. started to get myself ready by 10am, and left with Achi, Papa and Kogane by 11am.

while on our way to Century Park, i texted Daph, telling her how am doing okay with OJT and thesismates, i think. And then of course, about the program i am working on and that i presented to sir alvin, of which there are some revisions but that that's okay, and telling her that i miss her still and that i love her very much. that she take care. she replied when we were in Rockwell, sometime by 3 pm, telling me that she's glad to hear that am doing well with OJT and thesismates, and that she knew it can be done if i will it. she also said that she is nervous for a test she had to take by 5pm. she also said that she will also be always there for me and that is why i should take care of myself. :)

We first went to eat lunch at Century Park Seafood Restaurant. After that, we went to Rockwell. We just walked around, going into stores. But we bought food when we were already at the food section, at Auntie Anne's(pretzel), and drinks for the three of them( i didn't drink because it was more or less veggies.). AFter that, we went and arrived at Greenbelt by 4pm. I had to go my separate way because i got to get my refund for the flash disk. anyway, i did get my refund to the flash disk, though i did feel that i "shouted" at them, and therefore feeling guilty. Anyway, i wanted to buy the other flash disk at another store, but when i told them the problem about the blue screen that happened with the flash disk that i bought from the last store, they sort of didn't let me buy it anymore because if they made a sale, and knew it was working fine, then they wouldn't give a refund; they said that the problem lies not in the flash disk but with my computer, something with the registry, because when they tried it at the shop where i bought the flash disk, it was working in their windows 98 computer, but then since i have no use for it, since i cannot reformat my comp yet, i had to get a refund; i would always get an error, and what used with a 2500 pesos worth of flash disk that i cannot use because my comp fail to register it, and how i wish i could use it but then there is a need to reformat the comp but then i can't reformat yet because there are a lot of files in my computer. In a way, the other store not letting me buy their flash disk was a good sign from God. And when i was in the car going to Hi-Top, i ended up realizing that good thing the other shop didn't sort of let me buy it, since i remember Carlo telling me that a hub would cost 2000 something(almost as much as the flash disk thing), and then i wondered that there wouldn't be anymore problem with that right, and that it is more or less easier to handle(?) when you know how to use it, not really a new device that needs driver, but rather it becomes the interface or means by which two computers can send info to each other. :) I knew i went to meet them back at Greenbelt 3 foodcourt. After that, we stopped over at Cinnzeo at GB1, and i went down to buy 2 cinnroll. AFter that, we went to Hi-Top, because our Japanese friend wanted to buy Jufran banana ketchup (yeah, i also don't know why he wants to, but then he is the guest, and he is going to spend his money. :)). After that, we went to Alfredo's to eat dinner; my sister and i shared the soup, salad and steak she ordered for us. and then we went to eat at Fleur De Lys(?) to eat cake. YUm. :) After that, we went home. :) My dad and the Japanese went out again for a massage. My sister went out as well to meet with her friends. SO, my mom was at home, watching vcds, and i was helping my brother doing his webpage project. But before i did, Jo called by 8pm, and we talked up until 943pm :); we more or less shared what happened during our days, and asking why we didn't see each other at the walkway along makati avenue when we were both there by 425pm. :) And then we talked about our bestfriends, and on crushes and stuff, and then more or less sharing. :) mY brother had to go in and out of my room, sort of waiting for me to finish talking with Jo and to help him out. :)

Well, when i did finish, i didn't exactly startn helping him out yet, i told him that i wanted to rest for a while, and that he finish what he is playing. And then after that, it tried to connect the new scanner at home(an epson model, connecting to the computer by USB.). Anyway, i tried it out with my laptop, if it would work, to see if there is something wrong with laptop's registry and would end up with a blue screen again (it is a new device, just like the USB flash disk; i thought if there is an error with the USB flash disk, there should also be an error to the USB scanner). Anyway, i went on the installation, after finishing, i plugged the scanner, and it worked! i even tried unplugging it again and restarting my laptop, and then after the OS finished loading, i plugged it in the usb again, and it still works. i switched it around the 4 usb ports of my laptop and it still works. So, why is there a problem with a small device, and no problem at all with a big device? Hmm.... i don't want to think about it anymore. Anyway, i guess it was by 11pm that we started to make the changes to the webpages, correcting all the errors that we see or parts that are not working or displayed as we wanted to it(in a way, i am glad i am a comsci major, because i get to spot the areas where the errors are, and i know where i can find them and then correct them. My brother don't know why the errors happen until i showed him where the errors sprung from. :)). Anyway, the long process was uploading the picture files, sizes ranging from 990 kb and above. Anyway, while he was doing so, i was checking my mail(to make good use of the internet connection) and also to sign up for new email accounts. I signed it for a free 6mb at www.softhome.net, and then another 10mb at www.bluebottle.com (yup, 10mb. it also blocks spam, because only senders on your allowed list can send email to your account. :)). Anyway, i also made sure to check my brother's computer and made sure it was updated through windows update. MOre or less, i got to sleep by 2am in the morning. Luckily, my mom didn't get angry at me anymore. :) OH, we did try out the CDwriter at my brother's comp. Of course, i am the one who can do it as of now. Hehe :)


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July 18, 2003 Friday

Dreamt last night. Saw Daphne and we were just walking around some sort of freak show. We just stayed side by side of each other and didn¡¦t go far away from each other. I also saw Joanne, Arcy, JO¡¦s mom and dad, Christian(Arcy¡¦s groupmate) in my dream. Joanne, in the dream, got sick, sort of becoming unconscious and I was with her, her mom and dad and another person in the hospital(though it didn¡¦t look like a hospital because it was open space on the sides, but we do have a roof and floor,above and beneath us respectively. But suddenly, she woke up. And then there was this part in the dream where Christian asked me to get something Xeroxed since I am just at Enterprise Center and there was a photocopying place nearby, at Dela Rosa Street, but then I had to wait for something, to fix a Javascript program that I made (sort of the Javascript program that my brother and I got through the net the other night, in real life), and then I was getting late, and so I left this guy alone since he will be doing the checking for me, and then I felt it was getting late, and I woke up.

Got to work by 945am. I was all ready by 810am. But then my Diku will be going to take the MRT with me, so I decided to wait for him; I like it when I take a ride with a companion. Of course, we left by 830am something. We got to Ayala station by about 915am. Of course we did a lot of talking along the way. Anyway, we bought surenet prepaid internet cards when we were on the Ayala Station. And then we walked up until HSBC or Enterprise Center and I accompanied him up to the 7th Floor of Tower 1 of the Enterprise Center. He was going to collect a check. I was planning to stay with him up until he finishes the collection for this building, but then, when we arrived, the guard told us that it starts 10am. So I told him, and he told me, that I leave him, since I am already late for work(though the truth is, it was okay to be late today, because at least I enjoyed my morning despite being tired from sleeping late last night.) Anyway, I am afraid of my ¡§presenting¡¨ the FTP program I made to Sir Alvin. Hope I do well; I did try to pray while at the MRT and while talking with Diku. I just hope I do well, and that only minor revisions are made.

Liz and I will be going back to Park Square later this afternoon after work to let me buy the flash disk I want and then I will be needing to buy my brother some CDr and CDrw. He did give me some money to buy it. And anyway, since I am in the area, I guess it is okay. Anyway, I know where I am going. :)

I presented my AutoFTP program to Sir Alvin by 1030am and we ended by 1110am. More or less, I need to do some revisions, but it is not that big of a change. I think I can manage. :) So, after that, I let them(Ruz, Farids and Bic) use the computer since there are still some ¡§bugs¡¨ on the TTR program. :) I went down by 1145am to join Jo, Liz, Kat, Nats, Dianne and Michelle for lunch. (I know, I should have joined my thesis mates, but then, I was sort of waiting for them to invite me to buy lunch, since they did buy lunch, and when they did buy lunch and decided to eat, they went on ahead. So, it only signals that I can eat with Jo and the others, and that eating together is just a petty thing in the group when we can still work together despite not eating together.)

Anyway, Jo and I ordered from the same place. I ordered Daing na Bangus with rice, pancit and vegetable, with Gulaman drink for the price of 99 pesos. I think it is worth it; I still don¡¦t feel hungry, compared to my everyday lunch. Of course, after eating, I got back to the office by 1pm. Oh, when I met up with JO, she gave me a letter written on a tissue. I got to read it when I got back to the office. I am touched by the letter. :)

Once back at the office, really had nothing to do since they were using the computer. Anyway, I really did nothing much, until they left by 330pm. I stayed behind and was just surfing the net. Ate Ana needed to scan something and since the scanner is connected to the computer we are using, she asked if she could do some scanning; I offered to do it for her. :) Anyway, after that, we got to talk and she asked what family business we have. And when she heard that we print computer forms, she asked about printing Official receipts. Of course, we don¡¦t do ORs but then I told her that I can ask my Grandpa¡¦s personnel, because they might be able to do so. So anyway, after that, I was supposed to get back to checking my mail, but then Sir Ogie, seeing nobody else of the four of us except me, asked me to punch some Resumes and interview questions and answers. I started by 4pm, and ended by 450pm since I was making sure that at least they were somewhat clean and orderly, and since the resumes and stuff were printed on different sizes of paper, I have to make sure that I punch those properly. Anyway, after that, I went back to typing this and am preparing myself to leave work by 510pm. :) Currently, it is 508pm. :) Tatah. :)

After work, Liz and I went to buy my brother¡¦s cds first then to buy my flash disk. Anyway, we got to ride the MRT by 615pm. I should have been at the North Avenue station by 615pm, but hten since I have to buy some things, we ended up taking the MRT late. Anyway, I arrived at the North avenue Station by 645pm. It is embarrassing to have made Liz get home late, but then what can we do. :0 anyway, I waited for my dad to come pick me up by the station. They arrived by 715pm, and we went on our way to Gloria Maris Greenhills since my grandpa wanted to have dinner with the Japanese guest and so invited us as well(this is also the reason why I should have been by North Avenue Station by 615pm, but then was late for). Anyway, of course, I ate and ate. Once home, I tried the flash disk. It wouldn¡¦t work. When I found out I installed it incorrectly, I installed it again. But it still wouldn¡¦t work. I was so frustrated. I tested it with my brother¡¦s computer and it work, but not on mine. I nearly wasn¡¦t able to go to sleep; I prayed to God and gladly, he put me to sleep.


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July 17, 2003 Thursday

845am. I arrived at the office. The truth is, I woke up real late today, 656am. I really had to rush everything to prepare myself, luckily my brother waited for me, and also he forgot some things and needed to get them, so I had some more time for me to finish.

Lately, I think my brother and I are doing well. :) I think. Though my mom has been getting angry at me a lot of times lately as well. :0 But I hope everything works out for the better of everybody else. :)

Bic arrived by 930am. She¡¦s early today because she said she might need to leave early this afternoon. Ruz came by about 1040am something. Well, when I arrived at work, I checked my mail first, and also updated yesterday¡¦s journal entry. After that, I worked on the FTP project. Now I get what 13369348 and 13369352 means; it means that it is successful, or else it would return a zero; if I had read the .doc file containing the text I copied from the net, it is written and indicated there. :) Well, at least now I know. :) Of course, I tried to refine the program, putting more error handlers, now that I know what 13369348, 13369352 and 0 would mean. :) I think the Manual FTP transfer works okay. But then my problem was the automatic mode. Well, I told Sir Alvin, that I am still trying to finish up and that my FTP program is not so great and robust, and that it will only append an error.txt file if something wrong happens and that¡¦s it. But he asked, is it working? I said, yes, for the manual mode, I was able to transfer something. But for the automatic mode, I haven¡¦t been able to do so yet. So I told him if I can just it to him tomorrow. He said that that would be okay. :) Great. :) And so I went back to work on the program. Now, I tried the automatic mode a lot of times, thinking, why isn¡¦t it working? I know that the flow is correct¡K But then I looked at the error messages at error.txt and studied it well. ¡§Oh, I forgot to add a folder from which the program will get the file¡¨, and so I did so. After that, automatic mode still seems not to work, and I studied the error message again. The thing is, if I am going to send a file today, it should be that of the previous days; the format of the file is daymonthASRreport.dbg ¡V the daymonth here should be that of yesterday¡¦s. So, since today is July 17, the filename of the file I have to send is 1607ASRreport.dbg. I have already created this file and put it in the folder where it should be found(since if the program doesn¡¦t find the file, it returns an PutFile error message, meaning the FTP uploading is not successful.), and made sure that everything is okay. It still didn¡¦t work. I looked at the error message and found out that the filename being searched for is 1507ASRreport.dbg, when in fact, for today, it should be 1607ASRreport.dbg. I checked my code, and found that a function I am using to get the parts of the date were getting the date read from a text file(a history log of previous uploads), instead of today¡¦s text file. Now I know, and I made the necessary changes. Voila! It works. :) Am really happy. :) So more or less, I can relax a little now, though I guess there is still a lot of room for improvement. :) But then, it can wait until tomorrow. :) I want to relax and be glad that at least it worked for today. :) I am somewhat ¡§finished¡¨ though of course there would be revisions made and improvements to put into the program. :)




Anyway, from then on, I didn¡¦t get to do much. After eating lunch, I helped out in what Sir Ogie asked them to do: change the numbers to the calling cards he has. And then after that, I was just idle, more or less left to keep myself busy. After that, by 2pm, I helped Ruz sort out a stack of paper given to us by Sir Eric, and we were done by 3pm. From that time until 330pm, I was left to keep myself busy, writing in Katakana, hiragana, and Chinese characters. I didn¡¦t want to make anymore changes in the program; it already works, and I did check ftp.drew.ph to see if the file was there, and it is, though I already deleted it. I want to check the program tomorrow, not today, to see if it is still working. :) (Weird, huh?) ;) Well, Ruz and Bic left by 340pm. They invited to leave with them as well, but the thing is, I will go home together with Liz today, so I told them that I still have to wait for Lizette; anyway, that is the truth. And so they left. And now, I am typing this journal entry and will just surf the net. :)

Liz and I will stop by park square 1 to go ask at compex and ABC solutions about 128mb flash disks. :) I am interested in buying one, one that I can use for computers with USB ports that are of the OSs 98 to xp. I just hope that it wouldn¡¦t be too expensive. I hope to be able to use it to transfer files from my laptop to my brother¡¦s computer, when files would need to be moved back and forth. I am sort of not thinking of buying a cdwriter anymore, but then I will just use my money to pay for my next 10 PT sessions, since I only have 3 left and my mom told me that she wouldn¡¦t want to pay for it anymore. I just don¡¦t know; it is my money, but I think it would be a better investment to pay for the PT rather than the cd writer, since the PT sessions would be for my health and body, and anyway, we do have a cdwriter at home already. :)

Going to surf for a while. The computer¡¦s monitor is kinda going ¡§purply¡¨. Guess the video card is deteriorating.

451pm. Will be preparing to leave by 455pm. Did get to surf and check email, doing deletion of old and bulky messages. :)

I left by 5pm, and then Liz and I joined the others in Nat¡¦s car. And then, we went to Park Square 1 to ask about the 128MB flash disk that can be connected through USB. And then we took the MRT ride home. We, as we always did for the past few weeks, kept on talking while taking the ride home; it seems as if we have a lot of things to say, and that we are not at lost for words. :) Once home, I helped my brother out with his project, but after talking to Jo when she called me up by 8pm. I also called Drew up but had to hung up when Jo called. Anyway, after that, I had to help out with carrying the luggage of our Japanese visitor and family friend, and then that is it. I had to rewind some 10+ something VHS tapes for my mom and got to sleep by past midnight.


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July 16, 2003 Wednesday

Left home by 750am. And arrived at the office by 9am. :) I am not late today. ;) Anyway, while on the MRT, I told myself that I will try to ¡§sew¡¨ together the torn face of my Hello Kitty pillow(you know, with the face being the pillow); it seems to have a ¡§cross¡¨ on its ¡§forehead¡¨ area and I need to patch it up, with the piece of cloth underneath, not outside(do I make sense? :)). And then of course, I thought about the FTP project I am working on since I think it is working well, except that the Long values the FTP/Wininet dll functions returns are not really used at all, and of course, I am really not able to send anything at all. Hmm¡K what to do with those ¡§values¡¨, e.g. 13369348, 13369352. I have looked these up yesterday, but it doesn¡¦t really mean anything to me yet. I will really ask for help tomorrow if I don¡¦t find answers today. :0

Anyway, Ruz and Farids came in, but not Bic. Farids and Ruz arrived by 1030am something. Bic absent. I used computer until 1130am. Then they used computer up until 1pm. I used computer for a while again, then changes are needed for the TTR program are needed again, so as of now, 2pm, they are using the computer again.

255pm. Had been listing down my expenses for the month of July. I thought I spent a lot, 1000 pesos more than I should and could; it was just my mistake, adding it to my outstanding balance for June twice, when it should only be once. That was why I was wondering about the 1000 pesos amount. But when I did find out, the outstanding balance for June, plus the July allowance, and the added money given by my parents, minus total expenses from June 28-July 16, is equals to the amount of money I still do really have left in my wallet. Whew! I thought I spent too much, not knowing where I got the money, and if I do have the money. But then if 1000 pesos is missing, you¡¦d be wondering what you did with the money, right? Well, I figured out how my July expenses are as what they are, but not with my June expenses, of which I spent almost another hour figuring out, though to no success.

I thought my groupmates where going to leave by 4pm, as they always do, but today, they decided to stay much longer and finish the revisions to the TTR system, well, most of it, except one other requirement and the docu. They more or less left 10 minutes before 5pm. I left by 5pm. I didn¡¦t get to do anything on the program during the whole afternoon. But anyway, I did get to figure out my expenses, and then I got to think about the program I am working on, despite not working in front of it, because anyway, it is all in my head already. :) From 4-5pm, more or less, I was just lounging around and thinking. And for some 20 minutes I guess, I helped Farids punch some papers(3 inches thick, estimate only, that is given to us by Sir Ogie) to put into a binder. They have this weird but nice puncher that is worth almost 3000 pesos. It needed a lot of twisting, but it works great. :) Anyway, after that, and cleaning up, I waited until it was 5pm, and I left. Met up with Liz, Kat, Nats and Dianne at their buildings parking area.

After leaving by 5pm, of course, it is the usual trip to Ayala Station with Liz and then the MRT ride home. During the walk and ride home, Liz and I talked about a lot of things, from banking, to cars, to driving, to money, and a lot of other stuff, also about me hitting another car when driving once at Monumento. Once home, I was asked to remember some things for my dad, and do some small chores. And then after dinner, I went on to sew the Hello kitty face pillow of mine; at least now it is closed and the ¡§guts¡¨ or the fillings won¡¦t get out anymore. :) I then helped my brother out with his project. We had to go online to look for some midis and gifs and really did take long. We stopped by sometime after 12midnight. :-0


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July 15, 2003 Tuesday

Arriving at Enterprise Center and going up to work by 845am, I ended up thinking how I would be missing working, the time I can get out to meet with friends, and then doing nothing much at home over going to school. But then I also miss school, the sort of security it gives, and because I don¡¦t like to graduate yet since I feel that I am not yet ready to face the world, no more ¡§no classes¡¨ and such. I mean, once you¡¦re working, one can say that one can enjoy once life but you must earn for your living. Studying, despite having to do some assignments, you enjoy being with your friends and trying to find you dream, the security that having our parents around(for those of us who still have our parents taking care of us), of being with our friends and such, meeting almost each day. Oh well, both have its advantages and disadvantages, but then both are stages of life that we must go to. Oh well¡K.

Oh, Jo Yao called me and asked if I wanted to join them for lunch again today. Of course, I said yes. I¡¦ll go down by 1130am.

Anyway, groupmates, except for Ruz, arrived by 10am something. I was working on the FTP program. After anyway, by 11am, I let the use the computer. By 1130am, I left to join Jo for lunch.

Jo arrived with Mich at the Foodpark by 1145am, and then after that, by 12nn, Liz, Nats, Kat, and Dianne, with TJ, arrived as well. Of course, I ate lunch with them. After lunch, they were discussing about the online enrollment this coming July 28. And then I remembered that there are still questions that need to be asked and cleared up. I just hope that I can email them on time. And I hope that I can be in the same classes as Jo, Liz and the others would be next term, if not for all, then at least almost all. I cannot be in a block section, but then, I hope that there still is a possibility that I can be in the same classes in most of the subjects that they are all going to take. I really hope and pray. Unless Bic and the others specifically asks that we all be in the same block, or something like that. I know, I could ask, but then I would rather it come from them as well. Anyway, I got back to work by 1pm. By this time, Ruz hasn¡¦t even arrived at the office yet. Guess she will be absent again today. I think.

Ruz really didn¡¦t come to work. Anyway, groupmates left by 4pm. During the afternoon, some of the time, I would be working on the FTP program, and then the latter part of the afternoon, they were using the computer to show Sir Eric the TTR application we made. I left sometime by 5pm. From 4pm up to 5pm, I didn¡¦t get to do much anymore, but join this poetry contest on the net. Well, anyway, once I got off work, I met up with Liz and we took the MRT home together. Once home, tried to help my brother out with his Webpage project, but then before that, we transferred the new computer parts(monitor, keyboard, etc) to the computer table where the old computer/PC was. I had to do all the ¡§taking off/disconnecting¡¨ the different parts and having them attached to each other correctly. My brother is afraid of static, so I had to do it, but at least I get to order him around. :) hehe :)

After that, we went online, and trying to find a mp3 to midi converter, but to our dismay, all are sharewares, therefore we cannot save the midi file created or we can only get 15 seconds of the midi. Oh well¡K. Well, my brother told me that we can continue doing the page tomorrow, and went ahead to sleep. I was still awake by 1148pm, and my mom got angry at me for still being awake, that I should already be asleep by 10pm; she asked me if I wanted her to ¡§destroy¡¨ my laptop, and such as she shouted at me. I just kept my peace, and went to our room, and just prayed that I don¡¦t feel angry anymore. Well, I did stop feeling angry, because I easily fell asleep.


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July 14, 2003 Monday

I arrived at work by 920am today. Well, of course, checked my mail. And then after that, did some checking of the program codes I did last week. But then, I was asked to do some printing of some documents that Sir Alvin had asked me to do last Friday. After that, more or less, I did some checking of the program I made. By 1115am, Jo called, well, it is more of a miscall, my phone and was asking me if I wanted to eat lunch with her. Of course I said I could. She continued doing the miscall thing until I went down at the FoodPark and found out that she wasn¡¦t there so I called her.

Anyway, I was already at the FoodPark by 1125am. I was sort of really tired today, the feeling of which you have no energy to work. Might probably be the gym session being too strenuous, but I did bring it upon myself. Anyway, I waited until Jo arrived by 1145am. She bought her lunch and also made sure she brought me a ¡§peace¡¨ offering of a chocolate hot fudge sundae when she shouldn¡¦t have, because I wasn¡¦t angry at her at all or anything. I just really feel tired today, together with the headache and stuff. Anyway, a little while I was waiting for Jo, Dianne Cabrera called and told me that they will also being coming over and asked that I also save some seats for them. That I did. Anyway, Jo and Mich are still not doing well, though it seems Mich isn¡¦t ¡§sensing¡¨ anything at all, I think. Anyway, Jo shared what she felt, and I also shared how things were during the weekend. Liz, Kat, Nats and Dianne arrived sometime by 1210pm I think and of course, we went on eating and chatting and stuff. :) We left sometime by 1250pm. Jo had to part ways with them, so I went to walk with Jo.

This is the first time since 3rd term, January 2003 to April 2003, that she allowed me to hold her hands. :) and she didn¡¦t shake it off or something. In fact, her right hand was sort of holding my hand as well. :) She is warm, I mean, because my hands are cold because it is called in the office. But then, of course, I also made sure that I didn¡¦t hold her hand for too long. I don¡¦t know why, but I just felt it would be right that way. Anyway, on the way down, she thanked me for being there, for listening. (In a way, I felt her friends didn¡¦t listen to her, although they do want to help her out. But who am I to judge, probably they did understand each other. But then, a part of me felt the Jo kept on repeating what she wanted to say. Oh well¡K) While on the escalator, Jo was saying something like, what if she would also wait for me, that we graduate together, with her also delaying and shifting some other subjects to another term, sort of waiting for me. Well, I dunno. I told her it depends on her. Well, anyway, I told her that Carlo said that I can ¡§graduate¡¨ with them (go to the graduation ceremony, even I haven¡¦t even completed all the units needed). Well, I told her that is what Carlo said, and that I am really not sure about that. Anyway, she told me that she will just call (did tell her that mama told me that I cannot watch the tv and cannot use the phone) me. Oh well, I hope she calls later.

I arrived back at the office by almost 1pm something. I have been out of the office for almost an hour and 40 minutes. But I still feel tired. Anyway, I will be going home with Liz again today. We will meet by the parking lot of where the building they are working in is. Yup, which means I leave by 510pm or something.

Oh Ruz probably came in after I went down to meet with Jo and the others, since I didn¡¦t see her when I left and saw her when I came back to the office.

343pm. Groupmates left. I just saw their ¡§temporary attendance sheet¡¨ and it still indicates that they came to work 8 hours a day, including Ruz who has been absent for two days last week, when in fact they didn¡¦t do so in that fashion at all. Oh well¡K.

I left work by 515pm. And then Liz and I rode the MRT home. Once home, since our Japanese family friend came over, I went out to eat with them at Banawe¡¦s North Park, after which I bought Lord Stowe¡¦s egg tart for him to eat. Then we drove him to his hotel. The truth is, by that time, I really needed to get to a CR because my tummy was turning upside down. Anyway, I told my dad this when our Japanese friend already went in to his hotel and we were on our way home. My dad had to turn on the hazard lights and drive as fast as he could. I guess at first he didn¡¦t really believed me and wanted to eat some of the egg tarts. I told him, ¡§it wouldn¡¦t just be a smokebomb, but a fartbomb.¡¨ And then a while later, he asked me how much was the egg tarts, so that he could pay me. I told him that it is worth 300 pesos, but that my body is more important than money and that his car is more important than ¡§what I want to get out of my system¡¨. He laughed, and I sort of wanted to laugh but then I had to control myself or else ¡§all may break loose¡¨ and it was really very hard to wait, especially there at Scout Borromeo corner Quezon Avenue where the stoplight for our side has to be red for so long. But anyway, he got me home as fast as he could and I went straight to the bathroom. The thing is, before I got into the house, Ate Remy has to walk slowly to open the door for me; she knew, but then she wanted to joke around. I was already shouting. Anyway, after the bathroom, I felt better. I helped my brother in filling some forms out and then I went ahead to sleep.


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July 13, 2003 Sunday

woke up by almost 920am. called Jo, but then she was still sleeping. after that, we left by about 1015am. arrived at Greenhills, had my eyes checked, and chose a new frame for me since mom and Gennet said that i look so old with my old eyeglass frame. after that, we went to buy some things at Unimart, based on a list papa had written down. after that, i had my hair cut by Romy at David's Salon, the branch of which is near home.

AFter that, i went to take a bath. by 2pm, called Daph and Jo but Daph wasn't home yet and Jo went out with her dad. and by almost 230pm, and went to fetch Katrina, Kerwin and Kevin. We then went on our way to Rockwell. Once there, by 330pm, we bought tickets, then the girls and guys parted ways. me, gennet and Katrina went to the grocery first and then went on to walk around to look at clothes, bags, and shoes. we went back up to where the cinemas are by 520pm and then ordered popcorn, nachos and some drinks. We then watched Terminator 3. When the movie was about to start, i was startled to hear my cellphone beep. Guess what, got a text message from Ad telling me that he was seated somewhere above me, and there he was when i looked back. Anyway, after the movie, i asked if he was going home already and he said yes, and so i said goodbye. WE then went on to go to DAvid's teahouse to eat dinner; it is located at Timog. AFter that, of course, was stuffed. not that bad food.

after driving Kat, Ker and Kevin home, we went home. Once at home, i tried calling jo again. his brother answered and told me she was already sleeping. I wanted to call Daph but then i thought that she might need to do something else for school so, i just scrapped the idea, since i think she might need to wake early tomorrow. Anyway, i went ahead to do what i told and was asked to do yesterday.

elbert asked for help with his reflection paper for Relstwo class. both my sister and i didn't help him or else he wouldn't learn to write one for himself; we feel that he doesn't have his own ideas, principles and opinions on things when he must have or else how else can he have a say on things that will affect his life later on.

i have been praying the Jabez prayer for two days. although i did feel some "hate" in me when i am being told i am doing something wrong, i kept on praying to God to help me control my prayer. and so far, things are doing okay. and i do feel at peace lately. :) I just hope i am doing the right things.

i always look at Daph's place whenver we pass by corinthian gardens, either by car or by MRT. :) funny huh? miss her though i can't always call because she is much more busier than i am. :0

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July 12, 2003 Saturday

Last night, dreamt that i was sort of with Jo and Daph and some other people. Well, there was this part when i was just sitting at the steps leading to the main door of the TWPAC office, and was singing and trying to write poems. And then there was this part that we were all going to eat together. And then sort of anohter part when i was just outside a room or a shop and Daph was inside one. It was already late at night then, but then she was still in there and i went in. i asked her why she hadn't closed the doors, so that it would be much safer, and i sort of gave her a kiss or kisses on the cheek. Daph didn't answer me at all, but she really didn't move away either. but you could feel that it was somewhat tense and stuff, but then she didn't go away. and i think somebody sort of came in, i am just not sure. And i woke up. :0

Went to the gym today. was late. really did do my best to do all the weights program. :) glad i did,i have my best friend as my inspiration and motivation. :)

anyway, will go to despedida party of Ms. Hernandez. Oh, and 1026am, daph texted me something, of which i will type later. :) Orthodontist appointment by 4pm. achi and i will leave by 2pm, and she will drop me off at the orthodontist's office. and then i hope that i will be picked up and driven to Mi's place. :)

after gym, went home. left home by 230pm, instead of 2pm since mama and gennet were helping me out to pick a good combination of clothes. after that, i reached the orthodontist's by three pm and was ready to wait until 4pm for my appointment. luckily somebody backed out/canceled and i was able to get my brace's adjustment done by 330pm. I called papa and he went on to pick me up since he was in the area. we then went to see a client, and then after that he dropped me off at Mi's place.

Once at Mi's place, was offered drink and food to eat. by about 5pm something, JO called and told me to call her once i am home. anyway, we left mi's place for gerri's grill by 630pm and arrived there sometime by 7pm. Anyway, we started eating by about 730pm i think, when ms. hernandez arrived. One by one, people arrived. more or less, there were almost 30 of us there. Mi and i left by almost 10pm. they drove me home. arrived by 1030pm, and went ahead to sleep already. :0 well, i did try to call jo, but then nobody was answering. am really tired. and my muscles hurt.

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July 11, 2003 Friday

Woke up by 733am. Arrived at work by 930am. Took a taxi with Diku from home since Kuya Gudo didn¡¦t come to work today. When I arrived at Ayala station, had the urge, to look at how much a Harry Potter Book 5 would cost. I went to look around and ended up seeing the book my best friend recommended , Prayer of Jabez. It was supposed to be worth 295 pesos, but then it was a surprise when they scanned the barcode and the price ended up to be 195. It took another 10 minutes or so to verify. While the verification was ongoing, we did try the other copies of the book and it was still the same. It was verified that it was worth 195. Lucky me. :) I got a 100 pesos ¡§discount¡¨. :) anyway, it was funny I was looking for a harry potter book and I ended up seeing this, out of all books, and then buying it. But I guess if my best friend said it is a good book, then it might be. ƒº I can take my best friend¡¦s word for it, since I trust her taste in books. ƒº

By 1130am, I texted Liz and asked them if I could join them for lunch. Well, the case is, I am supposed to eat with them today, as I have told Bic that I will eat with them on Fridays. But then, by the time I asked them if they were eating lunch, they have already bought and brought their lunch with them. I mean, I can still go on down and buy lunch, but then, they would have to wait for me to buy the food and come back before they can start eating. If I did do that, by the time I get back up, they would have finished eating already anyway; I rather that that not be the case, so I decided that I not join them for lunch again today. Liz then replied, I guess through Nat¡¦s cellphone this time, that I can join them at Tokyo Tokyo, and I did. But my groupmates did offer me lunch, to which I said ¡§no thank you¡¨ so that they could go on and eat lunch. :) It is not a big deal, though in a way it would have been nice if I only knew that they were already getting lunch. :)

Anyway, of course I met up with Nats, Liz, kat, Dianne and their co-worker Julius. Of course, it is the usual lunch. We ate at the Greenbelt1 branch of Tokyo Tokyo. Anyway, after lunch, we went back to the office. Nats, Dianne, Liz and Kat walked me up to Dela Rosa street, to see and make sure that I get to the other side and up the walkway safe.:) when I was already going up the walkway, i waved goodbye and they went on ahead back to their office. I was back at the office by 1pm. ƒº I could have called Jo, since she wanted to eat at Tokyo Tokyo, as she had said so last night. Well, she did miscall Dianne¡¦s phone, but then if we were to text Jo at Mich¡¦s number, I don¡¦t know. Well, I was still thinking like so, but then I didn¡¦t text her at Mich¡¦s number. And after that, I felt somewhat bad, hoping in one way I did, but since I didn¡¦t I asked Liz, she said that it¡¦s alright, that it is already late. I don¡¦t know, I will just tell Jo about what happened. Well, Jo did call Dianne, but I do have the information that she would have wanted to join them, but then, I can never say for sure what is in her mind.

From 1-2pm, I just read The Prayer Of Jabez.

2PM. I started reading the book The Prayer of Jabez this morning, around 10am, and I am done reading it now, 2pm. :) Well, it¡¦s just 92 pages long. There was one part in the book that while reading it I shed some tears. I didn¡¦t really know why but I felt overwhelmed yet somewhat at peace. I made note to myself that I am going to let my sister read this book as well since she is looking for guidance, spiritual guidance to find herself, in her life. Great book. And it does make you wonder why you didn¡¦t ask for more from God, thinking that you are being selfish if you do so when in fact it is something that God would really like you to do. But right now, I still feel tired and just want to sleep. I know, I can do it right now, the project I mean, but I will wait until Bic tells me that I can use the computer already.

More or less from 230pm up to now, 404pm, I continued on programming. More or less, I think I am done, but I haven¡¦t tested it yet. I don¡¦t really know how to test that part. But anyway, I still have to look out for the error messages and how to email the error if its in automatic mode and those kind of stuff. I will continue on on Monday. :)

called daph, busy pa rin phone since 9pm.

called jo, july 11, i called kaya lang tulog na siya dahil masakit daw ulo nya. her mom answered the phone.

called mi. wala lang. :)

Thanks Chanty. :)

I will be updating my blogs, in a while. :)

Tatah! :)

Hello Keren! :) Thanks Che! :) I am proud of my new layout, though it is kinda slow at loading the jpeg. :)

Here are the entries that i should have posted a long time ago. :)
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July 10, 2003 Thursday

Dreamt about being at home, and then going out to drive, but then I didn¡¦t really drive the car(pick-up) that I usually drive, instead I was riding a bicycle, no a tricycle, the one with three wheels. Weird.

Went to school, and met up with Ad to get the Korean CDs of Joanne Yao. He also gave me a copies of those CDs; I asked him how am I going to pay him, told me that I don¡¦t need to. :) But anyway, once I got down, I texted him and told him that I thank him very much and that I will repay him sometime later, and that he just ask me anything if needed. He replied, ¡§You are always welcome! :) ¡§

I got to work by 910am. I checked my mail for a while. Of course, by 939am, the Chinese guy from Kuala Lumpur, who arrived yesterday or the other day, came early, so I have to give the LAN cable to him since he will be using it much more than I do. :) Of course, as always, I am still sleepy. :)

Groupmates arrived by around 1030am. Farids and Bic already arrived, except for Ruz. Is it Ruz¡¦s turn to be absent today? Maybe. I did tell Farids that if I don¡¦t get to understand the program anymore, that I will let them check it and she nodded, to say yes. :) Well, at least I was able to say that and sort of ask for ¡§help¡¨. :)

I told my mom that I already got the CD copies of the Korean cds with me already. She replied that I get home at once, with a smile, which means she is joking[¡§bilissssss uwi ka naƒº¡¨]. :) I told her that I can¡¦t, but that I will leave work early; I also told her that I go home early because I get to take the MRT ride home with somebody else. She then asked me who I was taking the MRT with, and I told her Liz, who is Jo¡¦s friend. She then replied that she thought that I already have a boyfriend. I answered, ¡§Me, a boyfriend? :) If I do have one, I will most certainly bring him home so that you could meet him. A lot of things are going on in your mind. :) [ako, may boyfriend? :) kung meron dapat isama ko siya sa bahay para makilala nyo noh. :) kaw a, kung anu-ano ang iniisip mo ah. :)]¡¨

Joanne Yao called me by about 1112am, to tell me that they would be coming over to eat at Enterprise center. Of course, I said yes, since I also needed to return the Korean CDs of hers that Ad borrowed. :) Well, we talked for almost 2 minutes and 40 seconds; she used her sim card in Mich¡¦s cellphone. :)

Anyway, I continued on with the program I am working on until 1130am, when I really couldn¡¦t think of anything else to do. I waited until it was 1150am before I went down to the FoodPark here at Enterprise Center.

Once at the Foodpark, I didn¡¦t see them at the usual area that we occupy, so I went to look out for table, and after finding one, sat there to wait for them. They arrived a little while later after they replied to my text asking them where they were. Anyway, ate with Jo and Mich. Of course, I talked a lot today. We finished eating by about 1220pm. I then walked them to the exit/entrance where they usually go out/in. I then went back up to the office, and arrived there by 1230pm. Jo also asked me what restaurants serve good food at Ongpin. I told her I forgot, but that I will ask Gennet, though I did mention Sincerity or Go Hiong Zai. Anyway, after that, she asked me if I wanted to buy anything there, told her that I can¡¦t think of any, but that I will ask ma if she wanted to buy anything there, though I doubt it. :)

Anyway, my groupmates have been using the computer since I left it this morning, by 1130am. I will let them be. They are working on another program that is asked of them by Sir Eric of Customer Support. I did also tell Bic, as I did Farids, to help me out with the program I am working on, and she said yes, but that they will do their best to finish this mini-program for Sir Eric.

1:23pm. Still writing this journal entry. I asked Ate Ana of Unified if I can borrow Kuya Sannel¡¦s computer for a while; she told me I could and that I just move over when Kuya Sannel¡¦s back. :) Trying to check e-mail, if not trying to do program for a while. :) Wah¡K the net¡¦s slow today. Anyway, ¡K


340pm. Well, I have been idle today. Well, I mean, I can always borrow Kuya Sannel¡¦s computer today because he went out with Kuya Alvin, but then they might come back anytime, so all I use his computer for is to type this entry. Well, I am a much quicker typist when I am writing my journal compared to when I am programming. I would usually end up just looking at the screen if I am programming. Rather, it would be easier for me to formulate one day and program the other. More or less I would just be doodling something or writing in Chinese characters, yawning and such. The Chinese guy from Malaysia talked with me a while ago, asking if I was also Chinese, if I was born in manila and such, and if I was working part time at Unified Communications, and asks about what we program here, and then he told me that VB.Net is much better nowadays and that SNMP would help at least broaden my opportunities and such, since he is also a programmer. :)

I left work by 512pm. Liz, Kat, Nats, and Dianne were all waiting for me, but I guess I wasn¡¦t the last they were waiting for, since we also waited until Gerald Tan arrived. :) Anyway, their friend, DJ/TJ dropped us off at Landmark. Liz and I went our way and she had to buy some things, after which we picked up the pictures that she wanted developed, and of course what followed was the MRT trip home. As always, we were chatting all throughout the trip. :)

Well, when my dad fetched me at the station, we went to pick my mom up at a Bulacan Sweets shop near the Tropical Hut grocery at Scout Borremeo, after which we went home. Once home, I ate dinner. By 830pm, I called Joanne Yao, and we talked for a while; well she did ask me to call once I get to ask my sister about the great places to eat at Ongpin, and I did just that. By 9pm, we hanged up since she is going to watch the F4 vcd that her mom bought. I then called my high school friend Miriam, and we talked for a while. We have plans to attend this despedida party and I told her if it would be okay that if after my appointment with my orthodontist if I could go straight to their house instead of me going home and having to go back to Tomas Morato; she said sure, and I guess it was also what she would have thought of. She also asked me to write her yearbook write up for her. Sure. At first, I wouldn¡¦t let her hang up because she wanted me to work and focus, though she kept on telling me that I can do it some other time since it is due next week and that I still have a lot of time. Well, I am really not doing much at the moment, so I took the opportunity and told her that I can do it now. In the end, I did let her hang up so that she can read up on brand management. Anyway, it was almost 940pm something I guess. I am done with her write-up by 1020pm something. :) Fast, but I guess since I am not really busy about anything else, I can write things out easily since I am focused, concentrated on writing it out. Here it is:::

Miriam: a simple person, who has God in the center of her life. What do I mean by simple? She is simple in that she can enjoy the little things in life; what else can there be in life if one can¡¦t even enjoy the things one can have everyday? But aside from this, she is an achiever in the things that she does, being intelligent, hardworking and talented. But what makes Miriam Miriam is that she is a great friend despite her very ¡§makulit¡¨ ways; this is not bad because you see, she can make you smile, and feel good about yourself. You are sure to feel welcome in the friendship you share with this person because she takes time to listen to you, and she does her best to help you out, even going out of her way just to be there for you. You can feel at home with her because you can easily talk to her, always ready to offer a sincere smile that is coupled by a good sense of humor and a touch of seriousness that we all need to go about our lives. A deeper look into her life would show you a loving person as a whole, being true to herself in all her roles in this life, in this world. One can never always see the uniqueness in each of us, but then, the truth is, we are all very much the same; we make ourselves unique in the way we live our lives, and that is how Miriam does it. :)


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July 9, 2003 Wednesday

Dreamt that I was with somebody, Dane Lim I think. And then I was in this bus and then somebody asked us to get down; it was Pam and Eya. Once out of the bus, they were sort of trying to fight with us, Batch Assembly members, but then we knew they wouldn¡¦t really want to fight, and we did our best not to fight and tried to stop the fight. After that, they told us that it was just a test, to see if we really knew each other, and that we knew enough that we all didn¡¦t want to fight. :)

Well, anyway, I was already somewhat awake by 648am. But I went back to sleep, despite the intermittent alarms from 7am to 740am. I ended up waking up late by 742am. :) anyway, I rushed in preparing myself, and was driven to the MRT by 8am. I arrived at work by 915am.

Anyway, I forgot if my mom really approved of me going to the going away party for our high school teacher, so I kept on asking her this morning. She didn¡¦t really answer me right away, so I kept on prodding, asking her and replying to her text. She then told me that it seems that I am not busy with anything since I keep on texting when I shouldn¡¦t because it is working hours. She told me that it seems like I have a lot of budget at hand, and that I go out so often nowadays, but that if was asked to help my brother out, I would do my best not to. I then told her that I would stop if she would just answer my question, and I also told her that I even helped my brother out in writing in the application letter, and my brother even asked me to do all the installing, and asked me to help him out on the webpage thing this evening. She then told me that I can go if I really want to, and that I help my brother out in finishing up with his Webpage project which is due July 14. I told her I will but that I will only ¡§help¡¨ and not ¡§do¡¨ the whole project. And then she sort of told me that the next time around, she would answer me ¡§no¡¨ always, ending the message with a smiley face, to which I replied, ¡§you cannot do that. And you ended your message with a smiley face.¡¨. My mom didn¡¦t reply anymore.

Okay, will be going back to work now. :)

1133am. My group mates still haven¡¦t arrived yet. I wonder if they will still be coming to work today. Probably just for half a day? Anyway, that is the least of my concerns today. I was looking at my program, and it seems that I am getting confused on what I need to do since ideas, and more ideas of problems and solutions alike keep popping into my mind. That is why I ended up writing down my thoughts on how the program should work instead of trying to face it head on by the computer. If I am before the computer, I end up having a blank state of mind, or a mind trying to make meaning to what snippets and comments on the program that I planned to make but have not made actions on. And with that came a headache, and sleepiness. So, I took a break again, and did my best to think of the things I need to do, and then wrote down the text messages sent to me by my bestfriend that I dare not delete that past week but then found out that I need to or else no more messages can come in if messages do rain into my cell phone inbox. But of course, I made note of what I deleted, and made sure I had a copy, and also of what I still kept in my inbox. And then after that, wondering because my groupmates aren¡¦t still in for work, ended up typing my thoughts down for a while, despite that my stomach is already growling, asking to be fed. Oh, I need to help my brother out with his project tonight. Oh well.

115pm. Oh well, I have just printed a copy of the codes I am working on so that I won¡¦t need to keep on turning to the computer and just getting myself all confused and overwhelmed all over again. :) My groupmates haven¡¦t arrived, not one of them did come in this morning. More or less, I am going to be alone again today, unless by some miracle they even think of coming to work this afternoon, though I doubt it because I know Sir Ogie was here this morning, as well as Sir Anthony and Sir Eric. So, there is no way they would be outside, attending meetings, with these people. Thess, the company¡¦s accountant, asked where my groupmates are; of course, I told the truth, I don¡¦t know. I think it is obvious that they didn¡¦t come in. I don¡¦t really know what is going on in my groupmates¡¦ minds, on how they could always be absent. Guess because they know Ogie or what, I don¡¦t really know the answers, but at least I am coming to work everyday, and if I don¡¦t come in, I did ask for permission and made necessary note of it in my attendance.

315pm. Obviously, since there is still no sign of my groupmates, it means that they really won¡¦t be coming in today. :0 Oh well. I ended up checking my email by 240pm something. And am still doing so as I am typing this down. :0

4:05pm. Well, I checked my mail as I reviewed the code that I was working on. Truth is, I am still feeling sleepy, and I don¡¦t really want to move on. Perhaps it is time for me to ask my groupmates to help me out? I can always ask for help, right? Probably just ask them to check my work out, right? Oh well, but not today, since they didn¡¦t come to work. 50 minutes more to go. More or less I will leave the office by about 510pm.

422pm. I am back on typing and trying out the program/pseudocode I have written. Hope that they work well, once I try them tomorrow. :)

457pm. I will be leaving in a little while. By 440pm, I ended up relaxing myself because I find myself having another headache. After which I just read an e-text of Shakespeare¡¦s Twelfth Night. :)

I left by about 515pm. More or less, I am the one late with my meeting Kat and Liz at the usual meeting place. :) anyway, we rode in Nat¡¦s car and she drove us to Landmark. From there, Liz and I stopped by Kodak to get some pictures developed, that we will be getting tomorrow. After that, we took the MRT home. Once home, more or less, I watched tv. After that, I went to call Jo by 930pm, and we talked up until 1030pm. After that, the whole night, my sister and I talked about life, about not losing what one really likes, knowing what you want and what makes you happy, to never let go of that because once you do, you can¡¦t find what makes you so passionate about your life and to live one¡¦s life fully. We more or less talked about stuff like that, and she told me not to let go of that, because she doesn¡¦t really know what she wants anymore, as of now. Anyway, after that, we went to sleep.


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July 8, 2003 Tuesday

Did check my email, but then something is wrong with the net/dsl connection here, so I will end up doing the project proposal tonight. I did get to check the email sent by Ms. Magpantay and Mr. Molano and have already emailed them my reply, so there is no problem with those.

Last night, I dreamt that I was ordained a priest(a lady priest). During the ordination, I gave my Bible(though I don¡¦t own a nice-looking bible in real life, in my dream I did.), a pen and an X-Men Wolverine card(Hugh Jackman) as ¡§offerings¡¨ (weird right?). After the ordination, I was the one presiding over my sister¡¦s wedding with a guy I didn¡¦t really see the face of. Anyway, I got angry because people got no respect for God. I saw Arcy there as well, telling me that my sister¡¦s wedding day was also mother¡¦s day. I also saw Aunt Haydee and was sorry because I told her that she will be one of the principal sponsors when I get married(this is our agreement in real life, a promise to each other. This is true), but then in the dream since I became a priest, I broke that promise. Well, I felt so angry at the people for being disrespectful, and in a way I can¡¦t imagine how I could become a priest if I get angry so easily, and that was when I woke up.

Anyway, I readied myself for work and left home with Elbert for school. Funny thing is, before we left, I was talking with Ate Remy about my dream. After that of course she asked me what I wanted to eat; she told me that I could eat theresas/silvanas, but then I told her how can I slim down if I eat that, so we decided on toasted wheat bread with nothing in it. When my mom heard it, I guess she was happy about it. And then they were suddenly on the topic of crushes, with my mom telling me that maybe my old crush would like me again, and I said no, but then Ate Remy said something about Boogie being a nice person to me and such. Of course, Ate Remy should have said anything about it, but then what else can I do if it is already out of her mouth. Grrr¡K anyway, I told her that she shouldn¡¦t have mentioned anything about it, but then Ate Rems told me that my mom would feel happy knowing about those things. Anyway, after that, my brother and I left for school.

Once in the car, I found out that I left my lunchbox, and exclaimed it out loud. We went back to get it. Once I got it, Ate Remy was still saying something. I didn¡¦t get it; I thought she was telling met that my water bottle with my lunchbox is not closed tight, but luckily my brother understood and told me something like spoon or chopsticks. When I checked, my chopsticks weren¡¦t there. Luckily, we weren¡¦t out of the compound yet, so I we went back again, I ran back into the house and got the chopsticks from Ate Remy. Funny thing I should forget; I guess I was just disturbed by the dream and by still feeling sleepy. :) Guess I had that dream because I didn¡¦t pray, but then it may also have deeper meaning. :)

Well, of course, luckily our driver is a good one so he still got my brother at school even if he is 5 minutes late (compared to the other times when he would be 30 minutes late). I went down as well, and went to see you guys at Gokongwei. I did get to talk with Ad, since I did return the Lavender CD to him, and then Caleb returned the Vandread 2nd Stage cds. :) I also told Ad about my dream and he jokingly said that it was a sign of aging. :) and then since I was having a small problem with the program I am working on, I asked help from him, and glad I did, because when I got to the office and made the necessary changes according to what Ad said, my program is working okay. :) Well, I left goks by 815am. :) Got to the office by 9am. :)

My groupmates, except for Farids who didn¡¦t come to work today, arrived by 1040am. And stayed here in the office up to now, 330pm. They didn¡¦t leave the office for lunch. Anyway, since this morning, I tried working on the program, but if I can¡¦t, I would stop and check my email for a while (get a little irritated in the process since it would be down again) and then get back to work. During lunch time, I did watch Episode 13 of Vandread 2nd stage during my break. :) After that, I went back to working on the program. But they by 3pm, my mind was sort of ¡§not working¡¨ properly, so I decided to unwind and type down this journal entry. :) Well, I did get to add new snippets of codes to the program I am working on, so I can¡¦t say that I haven¡¦t been productive for the day. I am just taking things slowly, one at a time, so that at least I can think better, being disorganized with my thoughts on the program in some way.

Groupmates left by 410pm. Before that time, I did do my best to get back to the program I am working on, but my mind can¡¦t think of anything else anymore. I will be leaving early again today, to take the MRT home again with Liz. And so, I also ended up trying to do the project proposal that GV asked me to do for one of the BA(batch assembly) activities.

Well, Liz did get off work by 505pm, and waited for Liz and Kat at the usual spot, our meeting place. Then Liz and I went to Landmark since I needed to buy shampoo and she had to look for a pond¡¦s cream sachet for her mom. Well, we didn¡¦t get to find one, so we went ahead to go to the Ayala station and took the MRT home. As usual, the trip home seems so short when you are taking it with another person. :) Once home, of course, I was asked by my brother to install all the programs that we needed for the home PC since we already have CDs of different installers bought just this past Saturday from Greenhills. Anyway, while doing so, I was also talking with a friend of mine, Miriam, from high school, who kept on persuading me to go to the despedida or going away party for one of our high school professors who will be going to teach in Texas. Anyway, I told her that I still need to ask for my mom¡¦s permission. Oh, and we won¡¦t be watching any movies this Saturday night. :0 After that, I went on to eat my dinner, then called Carlo about the project proposal that I had to do. We chatted for a while. After that, I finished up with the proposal and then I went on to help my brother in writing an application letter since he is planning to join the ACM or corporate management program for their college, more or less something like choosing their ¡§major¡¨. I also asked my mom if she would let me go, and I think she said yes. Anyway, after the letter composition, I went on to go to sleep.


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July 7, 2003 Monday

Going to gym this weekend (July 5) really did ¡§stretch¡¨ my muscles. More or less, I am doing okay and can still move around, but then my body also hurts at certain parts, especially at the joints. Well, at least that means that the exercises given to me are taking effect. :)

I am still sleepy because I slept late last night. But I¡¦ll do my best to keep myself awake by thinking how I will be going about the program I am working on.

I was asked to move to the computer of Sannel, and that I can use it since he is on sick leave.

Anyway, my groupmates arrived by 1030am.

I went down to eat lunch with Joanne Yao by 12 noon. Well, it is the usual sharing we do: talking while eating. :) She also returned the extension cord and the Flash disk that she borrowed from me, as well as the Lavender CD of Pinky that will be returned to Ad. She also gave me a gift: a keychain (a long one) of 3 angels dressed in blue with a cross on their clothes up front. :) Where to put it, I wonder, so that I won¡¦t lose any one of the three angels? :) We ate up until 1255pm, and then we went down. I walked her towards where she usually exits Enterprise Center, and then I went back up to the office. Oh, since our order didn¡¦t include drinks, she bought our drinks from Jollibee, and she wouldn¡¦t late me pay her back! :0 Luckily, when she went to buy a Peach Mango Pie for Michelle Concepcion and left left her wallet with me, I slipped the 21 pesos into her wallet; I really didn¡¦t know how much the drink was, so at least being able to pay for my share, even partially, would be enough. :)

233pm. Groupmates haven¡¦t arrived back from outside yet anyway. Last night, when I talked with Daph, glad to know that her mom is doing better and feeling fine. When I talked with Jo, sabi niya if ever kaming overnight sa bahay naming, they(arcy and her) wouldn¡¦t make Daph feel out of place. :)

313pm. Groupmates came back.

Groupmates left sometime by 430pm. I told them about email of Ms. Magpantay. They asked me if were to leave yet, told them that I will leave a little later.

I left by 5pm; I know, I logged in a timeout of 6pm, but then I really didn¡¦t know how to go about my program anymore, so I decided to go home as well despite my logging out of ¡§6pm¡¨. My groupmates came to work late and left early and still get 8 hours for the day, how about me? I mean, I don¡¦t want to be unfair as well, but then, what am I to do? I also like going home early, to rest and to do something else.

Anyway, took the MRT ride home with Liz. She was also feeling sick. Hope she gets better soon. Once home, I tried typing down the Mandarin lyrics of the songs for Lavender. I finished late. :) Anyway, had just been asked by GV to write a project proposal on the Job Expo for the Batch Assembly. I will get on with it tomorrow at the office. Sir Molano also told me that he emailed me. I will also check it tomorrow.

My sister also said something about watching movies this coming Saturday, terminator3, but then I told her that I wanted to watch Charlie¡¦s Angels 2. Well, she said then she might watch Terminator with her friend, and me, my brother and the brothers of my sister¡¦s friend would watch Charlie¡¦s Angels with me. She also told me that we would both be going to Greenhills on Sunday, to get me new eyeglasses (for a change in looks), and also to get a new haircut. I told her it is up to her where we go since she is the one driving. :)


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July 6, 2003 Sunday

woke up by 930am.
1pm, lunch with Aunt Rufina, Uncle Dalmacio, Buenconsejo family and us. up to 3pm.
stopped over at Greenhills because achi had to go pick up a skirt she liked.
once home, watched tv and slept.
really full. didn't eat dinner anymore.
920pm, called DAph, was still in cr. called her again by 930pm. talked for a while, but i sense she was busy, and she told me that she still has to do some reading, so we hung up, and i told her that i will call her another time. :)
called jo Yao. we chatted from 940pm something up to 1115pm. supposed to be, i told her that we will stop talking to each other by 1045pm, but then we talked some more, and we ended up talking until 1115pm. :) we will eat lunch together tomorrow. we will meet each other at the Foodpark. :) we talked about crushes and such, and a lot about ourselves, and a lot about daph. :) we also talked about me papapayat, and then about going out together, me, her and arcy and eating out probably on July 19. let's just see. :) i told her to just call me. :) ayun. i told her that i hope that they will be able to come overnight at my place, she, arcy and daph. :) so taht they could all meet. :) and about me planning of either going together out with them, daph, drew and the gang, and high school friends, but these are all plans, and it seems that there are too much people. :) anyway, she'll support me, cheer me on, on my want to lose 20 pounds by my next birthday. :)

anyway, gotta sleep now. :) it is already 1130pm.

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July 5, 2003 Saturday

bring change of clothes and bag with all my things in it.

9am, slimmers, meet with jo at sm
she waited for me at the lobby of slimmers.
we left together. i droved the car to La salle.
sabay na kami punta ng La Salle. pahintay gudo. meet with arcy by 1130am.
ate lunch with her, arcy, and ram at Kenny Rogers
attend meeting from 1-230pm.
left school by 230pm.
stopped by Baler Shell station for gasoline refill.
once home, just tinkled with my laptop.
530pm. took a bath.
left by 6pm plus to eat with Angkong for his bday.
once home by 1030pm, called Jo and we talked up until 12midnight. we might meet each other on Monday.
still thinking of Daph. Hope that her mother gets well. Today, her mom didn't go for the check-up yet, and found out that her mom is now having diarrhea as well. we both hope that her mom gets well soon. when i replied to her text message, she didn't reply anymore.

---
daph -- called her July 4 night.
her mom is not feeling good. nanghihina and having splitting headaches, side effects of the medicine she is taking for her colon.

popeye, their dog, died of eating something poisonous. just heard this from papa, telling me namatay daw of hepatitis. i didn't want to believe but asked daph muna. well, sinabi ni daph nga na namatay daw dahil of something poisonous.

a part of me doesn't want to go on and meet with Jo and Arcy, and just wanna see Daph and visit her mom, and of course, to stay home with my parents. but i guess daph wouldn't want me to stop my life, even it be for her. I just hope that Daph is doing fine, and i hope that her mom gets better na. It has already been one week already. It is very scary having to go through that. I hope Daph takes good care of herself, so that she could take care of her mom better. I think one reason that she is pretty busy, aside from school, is of course to take care of her parents, and especially now that her mom needs Daph to keep her company, sort of being her strength, in some way.

----

A fear comes to me every day, every single day: fear of losing the people that i love. It is not because i am very dependent on them; it is just because they have brought so much meaning to my life. THey have helped mold me to who i am today, from who I were, to who i will be. It is a fear of the death of a part of yourself, when you lose these people. An undending fear that is usually sudden, and all encompassing.

My parents, as most of our parents, are pretty stressed out lately aside from just the current economical conditions, but as well as for the other things that may be affecting their health, add to that that they have to care for us even at our age, fearing for the worst: that they may not be able to give what they can for the children that they love. During the past week, i was really afraid when i heard my mom started getting a high blood pressure. sure, with her hypoactive thyroid, it was sort of normal occurence, but then when the high blood pressure comes in unison with her not being able to move her right arm, the thought of stroke came into my mind. I admit: i was afraid then as i am still afraid now. We were lucky that my mom were surrounded by people in the office who told her take a rest and to take some precautions. I thank God for having us being surrounded by nice people, who would take care of us when we end up not being able to do anything for ourselves at some point in time. My dad did have rheumatism just a month ago; i thought it was muscle degeneration. We are lucky it is not. But just think of it, our parents are not getting younger, and neither are we.

I end up asking: what if something happens? Am i ready to face the world that my parents have been doing their best to make me ready for? My answer: I don't really know, though i am more inclined to say that i am not ready at all, and that i wouldn't know what to do if ever something happens. It is an unnerving thought to think about losing people, but when you see people around you who die so suddenly during the past few years(2001, my maternal grandmother, 2002, my dad's cousin, 2003, my dad's cousin's wife's sister, and how about the loved ones your loved ones have lost...), you just can't rule out the possibility or the probability of it coming anytime to each one of us.

Of course, there are a lot of things that we cannot answer ourselves. But right now, i jsut want to take the time to tell you guys to take very good care of yourselves, and to take care of the people that you love as early as now, to let them know and feel that they are loved, before it is too late. Make the most of what's still there for us to give to these special people, and that we continue to pray for God's grace, guidance and help, and that He continues to care for us, as He has already done so for so long. Let us ask Him for strength to do our best, to move on, to do everything for everybody's good.

And lastly, i love you all! You have all made, even if just a little, difference in my life. All the little things in life counts, as they make up the whole of what life can be. TAke care!

----

July 4, 2003 Friday

Yes! It¡¦s Friday. :)

My mom woke me up by 5am to help my brother in writing a letter for application to ACM or something on Corporate Management(this is the time of the year when they choose their majors). Anyway, I told her that if Elbert really needed me, he will come in and wake me up himself, before I went back to sleep. But the truth is, I never did get back to sleep, well, not to a comfortable one. I kept on thinking and waiting why my brother didn¡¦t wake me up. And then my sister went ahead to use the bathroom already, so all I had to do was wait. So, you¡¦ve guess it, I still feel sleepy when I am at work, especially now, 219pm.

This morning, I took the MRT with my Di-ku. We talked while on the trip to Ayala, and I also pointed to him Daph¡¦s house at Corinthian Gardens as we(the MRT) passed by. I arrived at work by 920am. We parted at the walkway since he is going to Ayala Triangle.

Jo Yao texted me this morning if I wanted to joint them for lunch, and I told her that I will be eating with my groupmates but will text her if there¡¦s any change of plans.

My groupmates arrived, except for Ruz by 1025am. I think today is Ruz¡¦s day to be absent. They were doing the beads thing, and I found a lot of those beads that had falled down onto the carpet, and I started picking them up one after the other, and stopped only when I can¡¦t find any of these anymore.

I ate lunch with Jo and Mich. Did decide to eat with JO kasi sa pantry lang sila(groupmates) kain (though dapat talaga sabay ako sa kanila today, since I told them na sabay na ako every Friday. Anyway, they went to eat sandwich sa pantry by 1030am plus, akala ko merienda pa lang yun kasi mag-11am palang. Habang nandun sila, parang gusto k na uli sabay sa kanila (kasi I told them/nagpaalam ako before pa sila kumain or to go to the pantry for that sandwich and after asking where they would be eating and finding out that they would be eating at the panty, kung pwede kain ako with Jo; payag naman Bic). When they got back, I wondered what time will they eat lunch then, e gutom na ako eh. When I asked, naglunch na pala sila. Sandwich na pala lunch nila. Ayun, so sumabay na lang talaga ako with Jo and Mich. Dapat talaga first day ko to eat with them uli tapos hindi natuloy. Sayang. Next week. Gusto ko naman talaga eh, kaya lang pabago-bago isip ko. I told this to mom. I also said sorry to Bic, for not eating with them, sabi niya wala yun. :)

Groupmates left after I left I guess. I got back to work by 1230pm. Up to now, 219pm, the two of them aren¡¦t back yet, though they did leave their bags here. I am trying to work on the project, though nothing really comes to mind. Guess I am just excited in getting some rest over the weekends, if I do get to. :)

This evening, I hope I finish the research for my cousin so that I can give it to her tomorrow, so that the research would be submitted in time by her children on Monday. I will also call Daph, if I get the time and if she¡¦s home by then.

I will be going to see my personal trainer tomorrow, July 5, during the morning, go back home to take a shower and then attend an IT seniors forum in the afternoon from 1-230pm ( I have decided that I will be driving to and from school, also during the morning. I already got my license already, the driver license card, and so I want to practice my driving again, hoping that by my birthday, aside from hoping that I will be 20 pounds lighter by then, that I would be able to drive our car by myself as well, and be able to drive my friends around because I am already a ¡§safe¡¨ driver since I will be allowed to do so myself. :)). Once home from the forum, I plan to clean up my room, well my side of the room. After that, in the evening, we are going to eat out because it is my grandfather¡¦s birthday. On July 6, we will be treating Aunt Rufina for lunch at Spring Deer, before she leaves for Canada on July 9. Other than those plans, guess I have nowhere to go. :)

Groupmates just got back now, 230pm. I said sorry to them by this time.

From the time I got back from lunch, by 1220pm, up to 340pm and also ever since this morning, I was using the computer, working on the FTP program. Now, 350pm onwards, they used it since they have to do something for one of the office staff, some sort of program as well. During my usage of the computer, I changed the text file used/generated by the program from sequential access files to random access files (don¡¦t want to expound on this). And from that time onward, they didn¡¦t leave the computer anymore. I asked what time they will be leaving today, and they said they weren¡¦t sure, that I could go first if I wanted to. I told them that I will be going home with someone today. When I said goodbye and was on my way out, Bic asked if I was going to commute, I said yes, and that¡¦s the truth. :)

I left work by 5pm and met up later with Kat Tan and Liz Sevilla at Banco Pilipino along Paseo corner Dela Rosa. Then, Liz and I saw Nats Eblamo and she offered us a ride up to Park Square. :) Kat had to take a jeep to Ayala; I didn¡¦t really know where she was going. Anyway, I took the MRT ride home with Liz. Of course, I talked a lot along the way, and also pointed out Daph¡¦s new place at Corinthian Gardens as we passed by Corinthian Gardens. :) She didn¡¦t talk a lot, guess she was tired, as she did say when we got off the MRT. She told me how I can save up buying a stored value card for my MRT rides since even if I am to use up 98 pesos worth of the card, and have 2 pesos left, I can still avail of a one way trip back home or two work, therefore saving 12 pesos. :) I didn¡¦t believe, until she used the card that still had a balance of 2 pesos, and she was able to get in for a ride, and out of the station when we arrived at North Avenue station. :) Once at North Avenue, I also bought a stored value card. :) We parted ways because she had to meet with her mom at SM North EDSA. My dad was already waiting for me at the car that is waiting probably just a few meters away. Once home, ate dinner, and watched tv. But then I had to pull myself away from the TV since I have to finish the research that my cousin had asked for(they don¡¦t have a phone line, so they are asking me to do the research). So it is why now, at 908pm, I am pushing myself to hurriedly type this down and start with that research so that I can hand it off tomorrow to her, so that my nephew and niece can submit it on time on Monday, July 7.

932pm, I did try to call Daph, but when somebody answered and passed the phone to Daph, I knew that she was busy. When she did answer, I asked if she was doing something and she said yes. Anyway, I told her to continue on with what she is doing. She then said, sort of asking, that she¡¦ll text me. I told her, it¡¦s your call. And she sort of said okay, and we hung up. Well, she really has much more things to do that I do since I am taking up OJT and she has classes. :) Understandable, and I should give way. :)


----

July 3, 2003 Thursday

-came by 9am. Bic didn¡¦t come in, Farids and Ruz came by 1030am.

-program¡K lunch¡K Sannel had to test something¡K more or less the program is taking shape, though I have to be more organized in planning how I should go about it. I am going to test the UPLOAD later. I got to ask for an IP address that I can test upload to. :)

By 1240pm, there was a power surge/fluctuation. Of course, had to restart all the computers.

216pm. Yehey! I was able to ftp a file using our(my) program to ftp.drew.ph (Sorry Drew, I really needed to try it. And at least I know that my account works, the one you gave us usernames and passwords for that I weren¡¦t able to use before.) Yippee!!! More or less, half done. :) :( My groupmates just came back. :| But at least the program works, even if they didn¡¦t help me with it(much the better). :)

428pm. Fromm 3pm plus, I relaxed more and more. Researched on what my cousin asked me to. Groupmates left by 330pm.

505pm. By 445pm, I got tired researching and the net connection is slowing down here in the office, therefore I stopped and just typed down the journal entries for July 2 and July 3. I will be leaving the office by 530pm, and go get my order of 3 sandwiches from Olivers and then go buy olives at Rustan and then go home.

Once at Rustan¡¦s, I received a text message from my sister, it was 6pm by then, telling me to take the MRT a little while later because they can only pick me up from the MRT station by 730pm. So, after buying the olives, I went to Goodwill to look around the books they have, and I ended up taking a lot of my time looking at the different books on the piano solos pieces that were available there. But then, the books are priced within the range of 800-2000. Oh well, when I looked at my watch by then, it was already 645pm. Time to go.

I walked to Ayala Station and rode the MRT. I got to the North Avenue Station by 740pm. After that, since Aunt Rufina(my mom¡¦s friend who came from Canada to visit us) was still in our home, so we went to eat dinner with her at Alfredo¡¦s Steakhouse. (I know, I am in a diet, but I didn¡¦t eat much, only the whole course of soup, bread, salad and the main dish of Steak Mediterranean. :) ). After that, we stopped by home first, then went to see a friend of ours whose dad had just recently died, to offer our condolences. After that, we drove Aunt Rufina home at Malabon. Once home, I changed my clothes and went to sleep. It was midnight by then.


----

July 2, 2003

Arrived at the office by 9am. :) Thank God I woke up and did my best to get out of the house by 750am. Told Ate Rems I want to be 150 pounds by my 21st birthday, and to go out with friends or probably just have Daph sleep over, and that we get to shop together in the future. :) I looked for Kuya Gudo and found him at the canteen. Aunt Emma and Aunt Cora talked with me for a while.

While at MRT, thought of Daph and went to see their place as the MRT passed by Corinthian Gardens. Walking to work, I just talked to my mind, though a part of me feeling happy and also unsure.

Once at the office, can¡¦t do much because they are using our computer for a task, sort of testing the LAN connection or something. More or less we are left to keep ourselves busy. :) Well, I just read on the WINDOWS API part of Visual Basic 6. I also listed my experiences and attendance and rewritten those in pencil, with a pen, of those thoughts/memories that I wanted to make sure doesn¡¦t fade away, so that it won¡¦t fade in time, those papers containing what I am thinking that I will be putting in my diary. Anyway, groupmates, except for Farids(who is absent today), arrived by 1030am something. Theyy left for lunch by 1140am. I ate lunch by myself, brushed my teeth, and I was back at my best before 1215pm.

From that time onward, I decided to draw an outline or sketch Daph¡¦s house, the new one at Corinthian Gardens. I used pencil first for the outline and then used sign pen for the permanent outline. I did it up to about 240-3pm. Almost three hours. Well, I tried to put the details that I remember about their house. Though I am just basing my drawing on what I saw and remember on my visit to their home. Well, of course, I would move something, align something, trying my best to draw down what think is their new home¡¦s layout. :) So after putting the permanent outline in ink, I had to label the places and erase any trace of pencil marks. After that, I made some notes on the color of the house, etc, particulars.

My groupmates came back by 240pm. Pretty late, right? Anyway, after finishing with the drawing , I started writing this journal down. Also, during this morning, and for the past few days, I still take not of what I remembered when I went to visit Daph, like things that we did, what or how I felt, what I was thinking, what we were doing, how things went that day, and some other particulars that day, also what she thought of on the things we were talking about. I still continue to write them down. Especially since I end up realizing a lot of other things as I think of that day. :)

It is now 320pm. Nothing else to do. I will probably draw how the house of Daph¡¦s looks like from outside. What I did a while ago was sort of an internal schema/outline/drawing of where the rooms are, and what were in there. If I am successful, it would take another two hours or so, more or less in time for 6pm. Oh, I have to think of questions to ask on July 5¡¦s IT seniors forum. I did ask Bic if we should start thinking of our thesis proposal again; she said that they are thinking of Workflow management, but that I also look into others as well. Woo¡K the office is still using the computer. Oh well. 345pm.

Groupmates left by 420pm. Bic had to go to the doctor, I guess, as I heard just a while ago.

510pm. I had busied myself for almost an hour by drawing the external face of daph¡¦s place. Really rough. I also texted Liz Sevilla if we can go home and take the MRT together today. Still waiting for her reply. I still can¡¦t use the computer here still, so I have to keep myself busy some other way. If Liz doesn¡¦t reply, I will probably leave te office by 545pm, just like yesterday. But then, there¡¦s the feeling that you don¡¦t want to. I saw their attendance sheet. Sort of in minutes. They came in by 1030am, left by 1140am, came back by 240pm, and left by 420pm. Is that 7 hours? 324 minutes doesn¡¦t even amount to seven, just five hours and 24 minutes. And their time in doesn¡¦t even match the number of hours today if you really take not of what time they come in and out.

Wow! Now I know why Liz didn¡¦t reply. Her brother¡¦s using her phone and is at London.

Now I get it. 324 is the total number of hours so far. For today, they timed a total number of 8 hours, but then the truth is, they have been at the office for less than 8 hours, and even less than five. I checked it again and saw one record with ¡§6 hours¡¨ written on it. When you ad the value of the previous record to the 6 hours, you get the value of the next record, e.g. 207+6=213. And this has been going on ever since May. And everyday, they are logging in 7 to 8 hours, but they come in by 1030am, leave by 1130am, come back by 130pm or 230pm and leave by 4pm something. Obviously, they are lying about the no. of hours. I mean the values cannot be the amount they spent for the day, since they eat different lunches; and how can they be so consistent, and obviously not other values because there¡¦s an End OF OJT date of AUGUST 15, and a 189 value to start of from, which if added with 8 equals to 207, 207+6=213, and so on.

I am logging in much more correct time in and out, much more honest than they are. Oh well, so this is what they are saying na pakikisama sa attendance: madaya.

Once at home, I helped my brother out in scanning the pictures that he needed. I got to sleep by 11pm plus. Watched CSI during 9pm.


----

July 1, 2003 Tuesday

Today, I stopped over at Gokongwei to give a new CD to Carlo(in payment for the Office XP CD that he made a copy of for me, well, for my brother, actually). Well, instead of just leaving it at the Nook, at Carlo¡¦s box, I went ahead to look for them at the 4th floor, just in case they are there. Well, I did find them(you guys), and I chatted with them. Drew arrived by 825am. As he was on his way out to the washroom, I talked with him. On my way down, I also saw Joan Wee. On the way to work, I hope that Daph will be able to sleep over at our place on my birthday. :) And at the same time, hoping that I will be able to drive by my own by then.

During the morning, I did some testing of the code I found on the book for our programming project. My groupmates arrived by 1030am plus. They used the computer for a while. So I started writing this entry down, and made a diary entry on the text messages that I don¡¦t want to forget, just in case I ended up needing to delete them.

Hah! *Deep Breath* *Exhale* I asked them if I could join them for lunch on Fridays, asked Bic specifically and she said okay. (Though if you see her face, it seems to her that it seems weird of me to say so and ask. :) ). But at least I took the courage to ask. :) My mom told me to do so, even at least to join them once a month or so, and she even gave me money for that. It would be waste if I didn¡¦t do so. I mean, she is sort of helping me out, though it was only last night that she was able to know of what had happened between me and my groupmates on June 25, when she asked me if I were eating with my groupmates as she was handing me money in payment for the things that she had asked me to buy plus the money that she wanted me to use to spend when I eat out with my groupmates. Though I know I can save up the money for the lunch thing by not spending it and using it to buy my own copy of the Harry Potter Book 5, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, a part of me wanted me to use the money for what my mom gave it to me for. And this also sort of a chance, opportunity; Jo said the same thing, that I should at least try to eat with my groupmates on Fridays; my bestfriend Daphne even said that I shouldn¡¦t be shy about bringing packed lunch when I eat out with my groupmates, that there is no reason to be shy and ashamed of bringing your own food, and that I really need to do something to get along, ¡§makisama¡¨, with my groupmates. At least their advices, well, what they said were for my good really, were followed and therefore of good used, and used good.

Well, then, I spent some time of the afternoon working on the program, maybe until 4pm. I didn¡¦t know what I should do to go on by then, so I stopped. Bic used the computer for a while to check her mails and they left sometime after 4pm.

Oh, I bought a PC-to-PC LAN cable yesterday. Since it didn¡¦t work last night, I brought it with me again to have it checked at the shop where I bought it. But then, a thought hit me and I asked the people in Unified to check it out for me (they are in this business anyway), since they know their stuff. :) Glad I did, because I wouldn¡¦t need to go buy that shop again later. I was just afraid that the girl who did the connecting or crimping of the LAN cable didn¡¦t know how, and might tell me that it¡¦s still right even if it¡¦s wrong. Anyway, I did ask Marco at first for help, but since he wasn¡¦t sure about it as well, we asked Carlo. Carlo said that it was done right, and said that it was a crossover/PC-to-PC cable as soon as he saw and examined it. This means one thing: there¡¦s trouble with me doing the actual connecting and that I didn¡¦t know what I am doing. :) I¡¦ll try connecting my laptop and my brother¡¦s new computer later. :)

I might as well not forget to update my journal entries for June 28-30, and up to the present. :) And this what I did for the remainder of the day, from 4pm up to now, 516pm. I will be checking mails and blog for the rest of the hour. :)


----

June 30, 2003 Monday

During the weekend, I relaxed, calmed down, when I was with Daph, and when I think of Daph. Of course, but there were times when I would be afraid, afraid of what may happen with me and my group mates, at work and in the future: would things work out? I was even afraid this morning, of going to work and all. I have been doing my best during the weekend to push away all these fearful thoughts by going to Daph¡¦s place to celebrate her birthday with her(though I am one day in advance, and we spent it together, alone, with nobody else, though the day can be thought of to be one of my ¡§normal¡¨ visits to their place rather than as a ¡§celebration¡¨), going out with my parents to see my uncle at Lagro, Novaliches, watching TV and such.

But I guess today went okay. When I got to work, and when they arrived, I told them (group mates) to tell me if I am improving or not, so that I can be on the right track. They said okay. And then we discussed the project/program that we would be working on. After that, we thought the computer was still to be used by Sir Ogie(our supervisor), so we didn¡¦t touch it at all. While they were talking to each other (my group mates) and after they left early for lunch, I was writing an entry into Jo¡¦s book thingy that I am going to give her, telling her o how I spent my day with my best friend, sharing it/these thoughts with Jo. :) Well, I ate lunch and such, brushed my teeth. It was only 1215pm then, so I tried to keep myself busy; rather, I decided to be so by starting the Visual Basic program of that automated FTP thing project. Marco did come over to talk with me for a while. Then I continued designing the interface and writing simple codes for the program flow up until my group mates arrived by 2pm something. So far, after telling them to inform me or tell me if I am improving or not, I felt somewhat much more at ease, and at peace with myself, with the fear sort of slowly going away. Thank God for that. :) But right now, they were asked to do something, so they¡¦re using the computer again, therefore I chose to continue to do this journal entry. :) It is now 2:58pm.


There are a lot of things that I have decided that I must do ever since I have met up with my bestfriend this Saturday, June 28:

1. Slim down. Target weight is 150 pounds(losing 20 pounds) at least. (Yup, my best friend is slim, and I am not. She is much more lighter than the target weight that I had set.) I start today. :) Because, I want to be able to go out with her and buy stuff with her, just like when she was trying to find and buy something for her good friend Nikka, and we were together by then, moving around from store to store, and at every store, should would also look for stuff for herself. :) I did tell her that probably next time we could go shop together in the future, and she nodded in agreement.:) (Well, that is how I remembered that moment; but I am sure that she didn¡¦t disagree.) :) I think I even told her that I have already decided to do since June 21, powered by the thought that I want to be able to spend time shopping with Jo, Arcy, and most especially with her, hoping that I would be able to slim down and lose some pounds by or before my birthday.

2. To clean up my table, my room. Her (Daph¡¦s) room is so clean and organized! Mine¡¦s not. And since my mom has been persuading for like forever to clean mind, but stopped because she got tired of keeping on asking me to do that, I am going to change and clean up as well as organize my things. (I mean, Daph just moved into their new home January this year, and her room is much more organized than it was when they were in their old home. But then, her room in both occasions were both cleaner than mine.)

3. Change myself for the better, as a whole person. :) My best friend is a good role model: hardworking, sincere, happy, optimistic, God-fearing, above all, and much more. I want to be a better person, and want to stop looking down on myself, and I want her to be proud of me, although she is already proud of having me as her friend, I want to be better still, for her, for me, and for everybody else. (Well, I did get to keep myself more or less more patient lately. :) and I do get to smile a lot lately, except when I have a troubling headache.)

I think I am not a bad person, or else how would I have great friends like you guys. :) And how would I have a great best friend like Daphne, who stayed with me, as a very good friend, and has been there for me for 6 years and running. :) She never left me even if I disclosed things that would usually make people move away.

I know I can do it, especially now, since my heart is at it. :) and I have things to look forward to: in life, in people/others, in me. :)

420pm. Well, I tried helping Farids out and I just can¡¦t figure out how to do what was asked of her at all. At least I made a start today. Still, like everyday, I look forward to the end of the day, as well as the end of the week, to relax and set some things to order(if I do follow my schedule), if I can. Now, my head hurts still. Farids couldn¡¦t find a way to do what was asked of her too. I just don¡¦t know what to do about it. What can I do? Nothing to do to help farads, nothing to help Bic with as well. Ruz was out with our supervisor Sir Ogie to get something from SMART, so there is nothing for me to do, really.

450pm. I received a text message from my dad, telling me to go down already. I just can¡¦t at the time. I don¡¦t want to add another hour that I missed to the five hours that I am already trying to make up for starting today. I am going on an overtime of 30 minutes for the next two weeks just to make up for the 5 hours I missed on purpose. I mean, I would love to go home early, but then I don¡¦t to accumulate more hours missed, I just can¡¦t. I don¡¦t want using my buffer days to make up for absences of an hour or so, but rather want to use those buffer days for much important matters that would really require me to be absent from work. And I still have to buy stuff after work.

457pm. Ruz got back from SMART with Sir Ogie. I already saw the pictures sent over by Mi, one of my HS batch mates, of our June 20, 2003 get together, :) at my lycos mail account. I hope that Daph will be home later. :) I really want to know how her birthday went, and I want to share my day today(though it is too early to be happy about current events, but today came out okay¡K). Since my group mates are using the computer, better stay aside and just write.

Oh, and I think a part of me is already able to let go of Jo. I am not afraid of the thought of losing her anymore. If it will be, then only time can tell. :) In fact, I will be deleting her text messages to me later, after writing them down in my diary, hidden but not forgotten.

525pm. They left early again.

The following are the dates that I met with Daph since fourth year¡K.
Planned: March 29, 2000(high school graduation; we spent it together rather than going out with others), May 2000(before classes started for DLSU and summer classes ended for Ateneo), December 2001(at my home, since she came over to bring my christmas gift to me. Supposed to be staying with me for an hour, but then since her mom and her has to go somewhere else, therefore change of plans), December 23, 2002(we planned on this, and glad that we were able to meet. Exchange of Christmas presents. :)), June 28, 2003 (to celebrate her birthday a day in advance. Just wanted to see her and be with her. :))

Coincidental/Accidental meetings:
October 20, 2001(I was at National Bookstore then, the Scout Borromeo branch. She was also there with her older brother and younger sister to buy a book before going over to see their grandparents. She asked her sister Denise(Beng) to get my attention, after which she surprised the both of us. :)), May 18, 2003(I was attending my cousin Eric¡¦s wedding at Century Park Seafood Restaurant. Daph and her dad were going to attend another wedding on the other half of the restaurant. :) I was surprised to see her there, and I had to look at her twice before I can confirm that it was really her. :)), June 20, 2003(That high school get together just this month. We didn¡¦t tell each other that we were going because we didn¡¦t know about each other being asked to go and about each other going. :)).


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June 29, 2003 Sunday (Daphne¡¦s Birthday) :)

Texted her midnight.

Bought banana for alay. Went out to get cd from Carlo Cabanlig, a copy of office xp installer. Went to buy pizza. Went to Di-ku¡¦s place. Back home. Watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer¡¦s stone(philosopher¡¦s stone) with Elbert until midnight.

Texted Daph, hoping that she enjoyed her day. Sleep.

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i would love to share about June 28, 2003, but my entry for this is too long, and i have different files of it. :)